The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Eight} Somewhere, Anywhere But Here

I stared at the still liquor bottle on my bedroom floor.

I had no desire to taste the foul alcohol again; the memory of the feeling of my throat being set aflame after swallowing it almost enough of a reason to head back to my parents room to put it back. Landon and Colton had shared a bottle early this year for Landon's eighteen birthday and had offered me the bottle. I had known that it was both a test and a genuine concern on my brother's end; he was anxiously anticipating me spitting the liquid out and not coming within a hundred feet of a bottle again. Under normal circumstances, the thought would have had my face twisted in disgust and my tongue trying to rid the memory of the bitterness.

Now it took all of my willpower not to down the whole bottle.

I knew within a few swings everything would start to fade. No more unwanted thoughts or flashbacks. I wouldn't have to be caught under Kevin Marshall's piercing eyes every time I closed my own.

Even if it was only for a short time, I'd be able to escape.

I stretched my legs out in front of me before lowering myself from the edge of my bed to the ground and grasping the cold bottle. I stared at the translucent alcohol for a moment, then set the cap on the carpet beside me and took a swing from the bottle. I immediately lurched forward, ready to spit it out, but squeezed my eyes shut and forced it down instead. A quiet whimper broke passed the surface of my chapped lips feeling the stinging in my raw throat.

Prying my eyes back open, I took another swing.

This time it went down without a fight.

Setting the bottle aside, I stretched my arm out and tore one of my pillows from where it laid against my headboard. I unraveled the end of the case and slowly pulled the red cloth from where it was hidden under the pillow. Throwing my pillow back on the bed, I stared at the jacket until it became a blurry red splotch.

I clutched it tightly in my hands before sending it flying across the room.

"I hate you!" my hoarse yell sounded throughout my empty room. I awaited my brother's or Colton's footsteps, both relieved and confused when the house remained silent. Some part me of expected it to shout back.

I scratched at my damp cheeks, afraid the tears would stain them. Landon didn't need to be worried about me; not anymore. There were things in this world he couldn't shield me from and myself was one of them.

Resting my forehead against my legs to try and recollect my fuzzy thoughts, I shot to my feet, swept the bottle from the floor, and headed for my open window. I set the bottle on the sill and slipped out before reaching back through and curling my fingers around the neck of the cold glass. I kept my eyes trained on the shingles until they flattened and unveiled Landon's old black sleeping bag. I sat down without looking back toward the window a few feet away and stared blankly at the night sky.

I had always been fascinated with the cycle of the moon; new moons in particular. Landon had mentioned a countless number of times that he hated them because of the darkness of the sky. I would always remind him that it was because of that stark darkness that we were able to see the beauty of light. As I sat outside under the stars, I found myself wishing for darkness. In the dark, I wouldn't have to face myself. In the dark I could scream at the top of my lungs and nobody would no who I am.

In the dark I didn't have to face the girl I'd become.

Staring at the bottle between my legs for a moment, I shut my eyes and took another drink. I nearly dropped the bottle when a thud sounded in my bedroom behind me, a good portion of the alcohol soaking into the front of my jeans. Fearful it was Landon, I pushed the bottle away and started to stand to peak back into my room. I froze midway when Colton seated himself on the window sill and stared me down as if I looked as shitty as I felt.