The Sound of Silence (Previously I Know What You Did Last Summer)

{Twenty} On My Own

  When the darkness don't let you sleep
I'ma hold you close
And when space is all you need
I can let you go
And if the spark in your eye goes out
I can be your glow
Bringing you home, yeah  

*********************************************************************************************

I slowed the car to a stop in front of a little apartment in the middle of a dimly lit Suburban neighborhood. As I pulled the keys from the ignition, I felt the sudden urge to pull my phone from my purse and call my brother to come pick me up. That thought quickly faded when Bianca's quiet drunken slurs jolted me out of my head.

"Bianca." I whispered, shooting the hysterical girl beside me a weary look. "Are you okay?"

She stared at the empty vodka bottle on her lap for a second before her bloodshot and tear filled eyes met mine.

"No, I'm not okay. I'll never be okay. It's like a movie on fucking repeat, except I feel it."

I opened my mouth to respond, but found that I couldn't force out any more than a quiet, sympathetic sigh. She continued on before I could recollect my thoughts and answer coherently.

"It's a never ending vicious cycle every time I see him when our families get together." She whispered. "I know he remembers, I know he still thinks about it too. But I feel it, I live it inside my head over and over. Then I come here, to my new home, where I have to lock every window and door in fear that he, or some other guy, may try to break in and do the same thing. I can't escape it, Avery, I just want it to stop."

I leaned over the console between us and squeezed her hand, "We need to get you inside."

Bianca shook her head with a pleading look.

"You know what it's like. You see him every day at school. You know that you can keep running from him, but you can't run from yourself."

I couldn't find it in me to respond. I turned my attention back to the dark road ahead, my bottom lip trembling as I tried to force my emotions back into the pit of my stomach. It was quickly diverted back to Bianca the moment she made a strange noise and threw the car door open, vomiting all over the side of the road.

I slipped out the driver's side and hurried around, having to swallow a few times to keep myself from joining her. The moment I reached for her shoulder, she threw up on my shoes. I looked away, gagging for a moment, before taking a deep breath and helping the drunk girl from the car.

I slung her arm over my shoulder, shifting most of her weight on to me before shutting her car door and leading her up the driveway to her front porch.

I cursed quietly under my breath once we reached the porch, digging through Bianca's purse for her keys. Finding them, I unlocked the door and nudged it open with my foot, listening to it creak loudly until it was open wide enough for us to walk in.

I kicked the door shut behind us, nearly carrying Bianca to her bedroom at the end of the hall. I laid her in the small twin size bed, prying her heels from her feet as she ran a hand down her face with a quiet cry.

I felt her eyes follow me to the bathroom as I tore the trash bin from beside the toilet, knowing without any doubt it was probably going to end up beside her bed.

Before I could turn my back to her, she caught my wrist. "Nobody wants me, you know. No guy can deal with me flinching every time he touches me. No girl wants to hang out with the little girl that was molested and raped. I'm a freak. I just want it to end, Avery. Make it stop."