Having Grace

13.

I woke up mad and angry at the world, at Roman, at my father and at myself.

Why did I do that last night? Why did I agree to go with Dom? To go to the club? To kiss him? To share that drug with him? Why did I allow Roman to take me away? Why did I get all slutty with him?

I groaned as I rolled over and buried my head in the pillow. Why, Gracie, why?

I had no idea where I was, or if I'm alone, but I felt empty and cold. I turned my head to see the rest of the bed. Yep, I'm alone.

Good.

If I'm alone, then why did I feel so empty?

I got up and went to the bathroom and collected my bra. I rummaged through the bedroom for some clothes, anything to wear.

I found nothing but jeans and pants bottoms and collared shirts to wear.

I took off Roman's t-shirt and pulled on a large collared shirt. It sat just above my knees. Am I really that short?

Surely not. Last time I checked, I was five foot five. But Roman towers over me still.

I did up the buttons and put my jacket over my arm. I checked for my phone and felt it before picking up my shoes.

I slowly and quietly opened the door that lead to the hallway. I took my time as I followed it.

Soon enough I was at well, an intersection, really. I looked to my right to see a smaller hallway that was joined to a room.

I went down that path to find a dining room. Surely I'm near the exit of this place?

I went in the dining room and let my fingers glide over the large wooden table. It was old and exquisite.

I went to a set of doors and slid them open. There was the kitchen and sitting at the breakfast bar was my previous driver.

"Good morning, Miss Griffin. Are you ready to go home?"

Home? "Yes." I answered without thinking.

The driver got up and I followed him out of the huge house. I saw no sign of Roman or his car and it had me wondering, was he even here?

I got in the car and looked at the property I just left. It was huge. Who owns it? I didn't see any staff for it to be a hotel.

I sat back in the back seat and thought about last night.

I'm an idiot.

I felt ashamed on the way I behaved and I should. I have never done anything like what I did last night with Roman.

The closest I came to that was the first time I put myself out there, sexually. With Roman.

Why do I do that? What makes me do that? Surely not him? I did say to Roman that's how I act when I was in the mood. Why did I lie about that? I've never put myself through that before.

I felt so naked under his stare. Well, I kind of was. But I felt like a, I don't know. What does being a sex goddess feel like?

I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought about it. I remembered every detail of last night. I groaned inwardly.

My stomach felt weird and I felt hot, the more I thought about it, the hotter I felt.

I didn't realise how far away from home I was till I made myself pull out of my stupid thoughts and looked around me.

I was still about thirty minutes away from home.

I wanted to ask the driver where Roman was, but then I decided that would make me sound desperate.

I sighed in my boredom as I took out my phone. My notification wall was full and I cleared it, without bothering what was what.

I didn't care.

I don't care.

I couldn't give two hoots what was floating around on media about me. Or what people said. I was no longer interested. In any of it.

Maybe I should just focus on what is good in this world. Helping people.

Maybe I just need to stay focused on that and work.

But work meant Roman. I didn't want to be a burden any more. That's how I felt now. A burden. I'm Roman's burden. He was always looking out for me, dragging me away from parties. Every single event I have attended since knowing Roman Parker, he has been there, dragging my sorry ass back home. Except for one. I don't know if he did turn up there, I left early and went home.

I felt guilty for doing that, being a burden. Maybe if I just left the company, I would be out of his way, that would make him happy, wouldn't it?

Maybe I've become a bit too dependent on him. I was expecting him to show last night, I just got carried away with what was happening around me.

This has to stop, Gracie. Stop relying on him. Stop expecting him to turn up and rescue you from your latest problem.

I've screwed up several times in the past, especially the past two months. He isn't always going to be there, stop using him as a safety net.

I sighed again as I leaned my head back on the head rest and looked out the window.

Suddenly my phone buzzed, letting me know I have a message. I wasn't interested in it. I looked at the name, ready to lock it again when I saw the name I had given Roman on the screen.

Arrogance.

I need to change that. I need to rename a lot of people in my phone. Having nicknames like that and super bff and whore were just immature right now.

I hesitated before opening Roman's message and after staring at the screen now locked, I unlocked it and opened it up.

Princess, once you finished acting like one, I expect to see you bright and early Monday morning. No more parties. Stay home.

Who was he to tell me to stay home? And what the hell was the go with calling me the insult before the message?