Having Grace

38.

Grace's P.O.V

I tried.

All I can say is I tried.

I said no. I had put my foot down. I tried hiding but he found me. As usual. He is good at that, or I'm bad at it.

Roman carried me over his shoulder, me kicking and screaming in protest. He had dropped me on the bed.

"Don't move." He had growled at me. I couldn't. Roman was actually scary.

I sat on the bed, my legs a mess between each other as I waited.

And did I wait.

Where did he go? It's been over twenty minutes. I sighed.

Where was he?

My anxiety over the matter of all this had me urgently needing the toilet.

I went to the bathroom to relieve myself when I heard the bedroom door.

Oh no.

"Grace?"

I washed my hands and slowly went to the door, going back in to the bedroom.

I couldn't talk. I tried talking earlier to Roman and he did listen, but he laughed off my concerns.

I didn't like that.

He came to me as I bit my bottom lip and he kissed me greedily. It blew me away.

All my thoughts had fled me. All my actions gone. I couldn't do anything. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't step back, I couldn't even hold him.

"Get on the bed." He whispered to me.

"I already told you." I answered him.

"I solved it. Get on the bed." I felt my knees weaken.

"But..."

Roman kissed me again, taking me to the bed.

"I don't know." I mumbled as his hands opened the shirt.

I bit on my bottom lip as Roman's lips went down my neck and landed between my breasts.

But his kisses and his touching didn't affect me like last time. Not as much.

I chewed at my lip. What did he mean he solved it? Did he buy protection? I can't get pregnant!

I started panting as the thoughts whirled around my head. I didn't notice Roman stopping or how hard I was pressing down on my lip.

"Stop it." Roman snapped at me, making me aware of what was happening. I looked at him, now beside me as he slowly released my lip from my teeth, his finger dragging my swollen lip down.

"You're thinking too much in to this." He spoke softly at me.

Was I? It's a serious problem.

"I..." I didn't know what words to form. I blinked several times, trying to think of any word.

Roman gently pecked my lips. "If you are that concerned, I promise I won't do anything, for now."

His arms pulled me to him as I leaned against his chest.

"I'm more than concerned." I finally said.

"There is nothing you can do till either your monthly cycle comes or you do a pregnancy test."

My eyes widened. That's what I need!

"Which you won't do just yet because it's only been two days. Too early."

My heart dropped.

"When are you expecting it?" Roman asked me as I kept my back to him.

"Nine days." I answered.

"Then you'll find out in nine days." Roman kissed the back of my head and squeezed me.

Nine days? That's so far away! I don't know if I can wait nine days!

"Stop fretting, and get that lip out off your mouth."

I froze. Was my lip between my teeth again. I opened my mouth to release it. How did he know?

What was I to him? Why am I falling under him? His eyes and arms, his lips and fingers.

Oh God. Am I falling for him? Then I remembered what Dean had told me about how he felt for Sofie. I remembered what Hope told me about Will.

Their feelings, so raw and intense. Is that what I feel?

Roman is always invading my thoughts. I drove to the markets he took me to just to think! My knees weaken whenever he kisses me. I feel a fire growing in my stomach whenever he does.

He makes me feel like I'm the only one that matters to him. I rely on him to help me when I need it, even when I don't think I do.

He dressed me up on Saturday, and that night! I felt my face heat up. How he stroked me, his fingers dancing on my skin, his kisses on my lips, how he was so gently and caring and loving.

A small smile crept on my mouth before a realisation hit me and it vanished.

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no!

"Roman?" I asked. I need to know.

"Yes?"

"What is this?" I had to know.

Roman was quiet for a few seconds. "We have discussed this."

"Obviously it wasn't clear enough for me if I'm asking again." I snapped and in a quick movement I sat up and got off the bed.

I saw my jeans and pulled them to me.

"I want to know," I slid them up as Roman sat up on the bed. "What this is?" I pointed to him and then me.

Roman didn't answer me, his face blank. We have gone back to the man I had married.

That's fine, if he doesn't want to talk, I'll talk. I ripped his shirt off and pulled down mine, adjusting the hem.

"I won't be used." I told him as I looked for my sandals. "I'm not a play toy."

Wow Gracie, I thought to myself. Where is all this coming from?

"I'm not someone that you can fuck and discard." I slipped my phone back in to my pocket.

"I deserve better than that!"

Roman looked surprised that I was actually lecturing him.

"You can't, no, you won't use me, Roman." I bit out.

I kept the tears out off this. I won't look weak.

"I'm not using you." Roman growled as he got off the bed. His chest was still bare and I had to fight the urge to run my hands over it.

"Then what is this? What are we doing? What are we?"

I had to know. And now. For my sake and for my heart.

Oh god, I know what I'm feeling. And it hurts already.

I've fallen for him.