Dealing with a Demon (Natsu x Jackal)

Contemplation and Woah Um You're Not Supposed to be here

I'm back with a new chapter, and on with the story.

I laid in bed, curled up on my side, clutching a large pillow to my body. Jackals voice still rang in my head, his words on constant repeat. Or more specifically word.

Bubblegum

A blush spread across my face instantly, making it match the color of my hair, which looked like bubblegum. My blush intensified more every time I thought about it. He said it endearingly, possessively. I buried my flushed face into the pillow and groaned, I probably just imagined it.

God I'm such a freak, I'm acting like someone would over a crush and he's my rapist. I have come to terms with it, I may have allowed myself the first time, but he totally blackmailed me the second. He hurt me and used my body for his own pleasures, and yet instead of tossing me away when he was done, he pet my hair and gave me a nickname.

I get the fact that he's an evil demon and everything he did to me was terrible, and don't get me wrong, I hate him, but every time I think about the name, and that look on his face as if nothing would ever touch me but him, my stomach just twisted. Not the bad twist, the butterflies like thinking about your crush.

I've only had one crush in my life, and that was when I was young and had recently joined the guild, and it was a girl, Lisanna. I don't know why I liked her, maybe it was because she was the only girl who actively sought me out without the intention of beating me. Now though? She's still my childhood friend, but after she came back from Edolas, things where just different, I didn't see her the same way.

And now here I am, getting the same butterfly feelings over a complete ass, just because he looked at me weirdly and give me a cute nickname. I've got plenty of nicknames anyway, what's so different. I snorted at the thought, what's so different? Even I knew that answer. Every 'nickname' the guild gave me was derogatory. Flame-brain, idiot, fire-breath, mostly Gray insults, everyone else called me Natsu I suppose.

I know they mean well, that's how Fairy Tail works. We're all messed up with shitty pasts. Erza means well, I know she does, even though I could go without her violence. Gray I don't like, he's an ass, but I wouldn't hurt him permanently, I know how to hold back. Lucy is still new to the whole thing I think, she doesn't seem to want to join in on the family brawls. Everyone had their own way of interaction, just the same as me. I'm loud, obnoxious, and childish. I get that, I'm not as stupid as most people take me as, but I'm not as smart as most people too.

I struggle with things others don't, and that hurts really, deep down, but I hide it. God knows what they would do if they found out about all my insecurities. Probably laugh and call me an idiot, but I know they mean well. For example, Ezra's 'teaching' was completely fruitless, even if she doesn't know that. Give me and enemy, I'll tear them to pieces, give me a book, I'll freeze. It's also another reason I like to go on mission with others, they read me the request. Happy is also with me and he can read, even if it is embarrassing that a flying cat can read and I can't. It takes me forever and a lot of straining to read the simplest things.

My thoughts drifted here and there, and I rolled over in bed, still clutching the pillow to my body. I looked over at the window, the sun was high and up in the sky, it was about mid day, noonish. Normally I would be at the guild by now, but I just didn't feel like it.

After the mission, or well, the incident, with Tartarus, and Jackal, I was able to quickly dress in my clothes, cheeks flushed bright red. Jackal didn't make any move to leave, he just sat their on the rock. Looking at me, strangely, eyeing my body up and down, a contemplative look on his face. Our eyes met after I finished wrapping my scarf around my neck, a mischievous glint flashed in them and a shiver ran up my spine before I could help it.