Darling Chaos

7. Darling

Darling blinked furiously, stepping out into the hallway of her apartment building and immediately being bombarded with the realization that the world was not as dark as her bedroom. The world didn't shut off it's lights when she shut off hers, it kept on moving.

The past few nights, Darling hadn't been able to step outside of her home. She hadn't been able to do much of anything other than hope the pain would leave. She was tired of waiting for someone to rescue her. Tired of waiting for him to come home. Now that she thought about it, it had been about three months since she had last seen him face to face, and the ache in her chest hadn't dulled in the slightest. Getting out of bed in the mornings was a chore. Showing up to school? Going to work? Only routine. Her smile and happy attitude had nearly demolished.

She wasn't Darling and hadn't been Darling since he left.

Just thinking so, she distinctly remembered a cold November night, probably 6 months ago, when Chaos had been sitting beside her and enveloped her in an embrace.

"You must promise me," he started, his voice only a slight whisper. She had to strain her ears in order to hear him.

"That you'll always be yourself." He finished. She looked at him, confused, and asked how she could be anything but herself. He smiled a sad smile.

"Just don't let that light in your eyes dim. Don't let anybody take your smile away from you. That light, that smile, I'm quite sure is the essence of who you are. It makes you Darling, and it attracts people to you. It shows them you're kind. It shows them you're the good in the world that so many people yearn for. Don't lose that, Darling, or you'll lose yourself."

Darling, with somber realization, knew her smile was now a rarity. And the sparkle in her eyes? It was nothing but a memory, a dull speck that no longer shone for the world. She had gotten so caught up in losing what she loved most, that she lost herself in the grieving process. She lost her shine, her twinkle. She lost exactly what made her Darling.

Now? She was nothing but a walking vessel of sorrows. All happiness had eroded with the waves of grief, and she was nothing but a shadow of her former self.

And what scared her most? Darling hadn't even-

THUD!

Darling crashed full-force into another body. Darling tumbled to the ground, feeling something mush underneath her. She heard a moan, and hurriedly sat up, looking around at the mess she had made. A man lay on his back on the floor, an empty grocery bag in his hands and different items of produce scattered on the floor around her. Darling blinked, once, twice, registering the situation.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, realization dawning on her. She hurried to her feet, helping up the man with an extended hand. The guy brushed himself off, shaking his head.

"It's alright, Darling. You always seemed to be quite clumsy," He whispered, a faint smile playing on his lips. Darling stared at him, baffled that the man knew her name, and then the face became recognizable.

"Here, Justice, let me help you with that," She hurried, her words snipped and cold. She busied herself picking up the groceries she had so clumsily spilled, unable to make eye contact with the boy that had once been as close to Chaos as she was; the only person who knew about that knew about their nights on the roof. The sudden odor of tomato was present, and Darling realized her white sweater was splattered with the red juice of the fruit.

Darling could feel her cheeks flaming with embarrassment and quickly dropped the groceries into the bag, mustering up the kindest smile she could (which turned out to be more of a grimace). She turned to hurry back towards her apartment, hoping she wouldn't be late for her first class session if she took the time to change her clothes.

"Wait!" Justice called out, causing Darling to whip back around, looking at the boy who held so much power over her. The best friend of her lover.

"I know." He whispered. He didn't need to say another word, Darling knew, too.

Darling could feel the tears springing up once more and wiped her eyes furiously. Justice neared her, offering his embrace in support, but Darling flinched away from his touch.

"He loved you, he truly did," Justice coaxed her, attempting to calm her with his words. It only made the tears spring faster, the pain in Darling's chest deepening.

"Then why did he leave?" Darling questioned. That wasn't exactly what she was thinking, however.

Darling wanted to know why he left her.

"I don't know." Came Justice's voice, one that was once strong but now wavered with uncertainty. Darling looked up at him, deep into his eyes, and saw confusion and sadness, the same kind she felt on a constant basis. Not only had Chaos left her, but his friends as well. Justice was fending for himself, no longer with a best friend by his side to share an apartment with him or help him through the hardest days, and yet no tears sprang to his eyes.

His eyes were only tired.

And Darling realized if this guy was managing through life without him, then she could, too.

And so she would try.

Darling managed to stop the flood of tears, and embraced the man in front of her. She promised herself she would no longer dwell on the image of Chaos, even if it was hard.

She no longer would drag her feet through life, waiting for Superman to come save her. To return to her and pick her up in his arms.

She wouldn't wait any longer.

She would fix herself, she would heal herself.

She unwrapped her arms from around Justice and smiled, her first warm, genuine smile in what seemed ages.

"Can I walk you back to your room, Darling?" He asked gently, careful not to trigger a wave of emotion once more. She nodded, suddenly warming up to the presence of her neighbor.

"Of course."

Darling linked arms with him, and they strode back in the direction of their apartments.

Darling was ready to take on the world once more. Whether or not Chaos was beside her no longer seemed to matter.