We were leaving the funeral on a Saturday and was planning on leaving Tuesday. When I found out the news, I called Tina to tell her what happened and she immediately told me to take off however long I needed to. Jahseh was by my side the whole time and said it wasn't a problem traveling with me. Redd decided he would watch Miracle til we came back.
The service was nice and sad. I sat next to Kolbey who tried to hold his tears throughout the whole funeral. I shed tears along with Leslie and my parents. Kolbey decide to not be there when we buried her. Instead he stood by the car the whole time they put her in the ground.
There was dinner served at his home afterwards. Family and friends were gathered there and the house was crowded. We all gave hugs and more to people whom were close to his family. Me, Leslie, and Jahseh sat on the couch watching everybody while Kolbey was upstairs. I figured I needed to check on him. It broke me the day I arrived home and Kolbey was in his room bawled up in a corner crying his heart out.
I walked upstairs and knocked on his door. He quietly told me to come in. I opened the door and seen him sitting on the bed looking at a picture of him and his mother. I slowly walked over to him and sat beside him and rested my hand on his back rubbing it up and down.
"How ya feeling?" Though I knew the answer already.
He didn't say anything at first. He only kept his watering eyes on the picture that was held in his hand, "She's actually gone." His voice cracked.
I wiped my eyes, "Yea, I know."
It became silent for a moment mainly because there was nothing to be said.
"You should come down and eat." I softly told him.
"I ain't hungry." He still had his head down.
"Yea but you should try to e-" I was cut off.
"Lauren, I said I ain't hungry, ight?" He slightly raised his voice. I kept quiet trying not to make him any angrier that he already was.
"Kolbey, I know you're hurt and all right now but please don't go and hurt yourself. Everything's gonna be okay."
He laughed sarcastically, "Ya know, from the moment she died, I've had people in my ear telling me that shit, constantly. I just lost the woman who meant the most to me and everything is suppose to be alright? Shit ain't gone never be alright! I gotta stay in this house by myself without her. I gotta finish college without her. I gotta have my first child without her and get married without her", he cried which made me cry. Seeing him like this only made me want to hug him so tight.
"Look, I know it's going to take some time for you to process all of this but she will be with you all the way." And at that, he broke down.
"I can't believe this shit, man. She's actually gone. What the fuck am I gone do now?"
That's it. I pulled him into a big hug. He buried his face into my neck and cried so hard. "Kolbey, you are going to get through this whether you know it or not. I know it's killing you inside and it's doing me the same way. But I promise that everything will be okay. She was like a mother to me also. She helped you and others so I know that loosing her is a struggle. But like I said, everything will be okay." He sat up and looked me into my eyes, "You are my brother, and if you need anything, you call me and don't hesitate either. You and Les mean the world to me. You are not in this alone." I reassured him. He simply nodded his head. "Now I want you to go and finish college, find the woman of your dreams and get married. And throughout all of that, I will be there......and so will she. You will never hurt alone." I hugged him one last time.
Everyone had left. Me, Jahseh, Les and my parents helped clean up while Kolbey was still in his room. Leslie was putting the leftovers up, my parents were in the living room cleaning and Jahseh was helping me wash the dishes. I washed while he dried.
