Sunshine in the Summer (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 31

*A few weeks later*

I love the rain. The sound, the smell, (though the smell of rain in Australia is way different than the smell in Ohio). Sometimes on rainy days you just feel so peaceful and at ease. But sometimes you just feel depressed. That’s how I woke up today.

I had the window cracked so I could hear the drizzling. It wasn’t that hot so I curled back up under the sheets and buried my face into the pillow while my brain began thinking things I didn’t want to think about.

It was multiple things; how much I ached to see my mother and grandmother again, and how within a week I would be flying back home. And with that came the thoughts of leaving Ellen behind and what’s going to happen to her will she be alright. I won’t see Thomas or Michael anymore and that’s really going to suck because they’re better friends to me than the ones I left back at home. Then of course is the looming reminder that I have to leave you. That one hurt the most.

On one side, it doesn’t seem real. Like it’s just a nightmare I’m going to have but I’ll wake up and you’ll still be here. On the other side, it’s like I’m going to die and be away from you forever. I don’t feel like once I leave I’ll have a life anymore, which is ridiculous. When I get back I’ll have a couple more weeks to prepare for my senior year. Then I’ll be so busy getting ready for college- holy shit. There’s another thing to mull over. What college am I going to go to? Will I even get accepted anywhere because I’m really not the greatest at school.

Eventually I rolled over to check my phone. I had a text from Michael that said Max was sick so they wouldn’t be coming over – I was actually a bit grateful I really wasn’t in the mood for it today. I just wanted to sulk. Then a text from you saying, “Hey, wish I could come over but today’s Sam’s last day and Marie won’t be making it through the night. See you later x”. Great. More positivity.

I got Ellen up and around and make toast for breakfast, burning mine purposely. I mainly just wanted the smell. She could tell something was bugging me and if she could talk she probably would have said something like, “What’s up your ass today?” but sweetly of course.

“Ellen…” I said. She cocked her head to the side. “You knew when I came here at the beginning of the summer that I wouldn’t be here to stay, right?” She nodded slowly. “Well, I leave Friday.”

There was a long pause where she looked like she was trying to process the information. Now that I thought about it, it really wasn’t that far away being that it was Monday. When you’re in school, Monday and Friday seem so far apart but during summer it’s a whole new situation.

“It’s coming up fast, I know,” I said with a sigh. “I’m kinda excited honestly, I miss my own bed. My mom. The rest of my clothes. My hometown. I’m gonna miss this place though too. And you of course.”

She looked down and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

*The next day*

Tuesday was almost exactly like Monday. Except Aunt V was home so I could have the day off. I moped in the bed same as the day before, face smothered against the pillow listening to the low thunder rumble and raindrops tinkling off the roof till almost noon.

Finally I felt behind me for my phone and turned it on. I had a missed call from my mom and a text about her being so happy to see me but that was it. I didn’t feel like calling so I sent you a text instead.

Me: “Any more depressing hospital ventures today or are you free?”

You: “Free as a bird. Meet me at our spot.”

I was a little unsure with the on and off thunderstorms but I didn’t really care. I put on my leggings and a long sleeve shirt you’d left over at some point and was on my way.