Journey into Faith

When Saying "No" becomes Hard

"Hey, can you do this for me?", a friend of mine asked me to be the emcee during one of our church activities. "Sure." I replied. But deep in my mind I wasn't entirely okay to play the part knowing I'll be doing it with no time to practice or even gather ideas how to wing it since I have to do it on that day!

But because she's a dear friend of mine, I couldn't say no.

It's hard to put off a request especially from a friend or a member of the family. But because of that, I always find myself in an overwhelming situation.

According to Mary Byers, these "Five Times Why" can help you understand the situation more deeper than what is seen in the surface. When someone asks you to do something and you're feeling overwhelmed - first ask yourself 5 times why:

1. Why am I feeling this way?
Because I'm doing too much.
2. Why am I doing too much?
Because I say yes to everything.
3. Why do I say yes to everything?
Because I'm afraid to say no.
4. Why am I afraid to say no?
Because I'm afraid they won't like me.
5. Why am I afraid they won't like me?
Because I've never said no before and I'm afraid how they'll respond.

Asking ourselves 5 times why helps us to rethink what we should be the right response. And for our response to be aligned what is right let us look for the perfect wisdom - the wisdom that comes from God.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

When we need to make a decision, however, we need to be willing to give up our own desires and ask God to make His will plain for us to understand. And then when we know what God wants us to do, we must be willing to do it - even if that means saying "no" to a friend's request.

Doing God's will does not necessarily mean doing "more" but doing what needs to be done with a cheerful heart.

My short prayer for you:
Lord, You know that the person reading this might have a lot of things on her hands right now. I pray for this reader that You will help her to overcome the overwhelming situations she is in. Give this person the strength and courage to say "no" when things are too much for her to handle in the kindest way possible, and not being afraid of what might the other person may think of her. Amen.