Genius

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

The Bromance of the Century (and possibly the entire history of the universe)

    "I fixed it." I present the computer screen to him, the store's logo glows in the corner of their brand new webpage, "I don't understand how you got so many viruses and errors in the programming anyways, it's almost physically impossible to code that badly." Typing random letters and numbers and using it as coding probably would have had less problems than this website.

    "It looks great, thank you so much." The manager does a little hop-clap thing in excitement and hands me a bag of free gummy bears. They aren't name brand.

    "Wait, what does it say here?" He asks, squinting at the screen.

    "It says: 'It may not be name brand, but it's cheap!' and it has a emoticon next to it."

    "What kind of marketing technique is that?" The manager pulls at his hair.

    "Careful with your hair pulling, you don't have that much left to lose. The marketing technique is called honesty, it's a new and refreshing tactic." I reply, wondering if they sell fingernail brushes here because I need to clean mine.

    "And what's this 'We have security cameras so if you get murdered we are sure to catch the one who did it', are you trying to scare customers away?"

    "I'm appealing to the customer's sense of justice, the baddies will get caught (on camera at least) if they come here. I can guarantee a twenty percent increase in sales, if I'm wrong I'll re-code the website for you and if I'm right you'll..." I tap my chin, gazing around the room to build suspense (even though I already know what I'm going to ask for) "give Alan a raise." He stares at me, I stare back (staredown style I guess?).

    "Fine." He relents,

    "Okay perfect," I say, whisking a neatly folded paper out of my pocket and slipping glasses frames (I found them on a shelf they didn't belong on so I picked them up) on my nose, "Please sign here." I hand the contract to him, it states the previously presented terms except with a 50% customer increase, which I cross out and replace with 20%.

    "You were already prepared?" He gasps, his jaw have fallen open (which is dangerous, in my opinion; hyperextension of the jaw muscles can be very uncomfortable).

    "Of course, why didn't anyone teach you never to accept the first offer, it's always a lowball. Didn't you take a management class?" He grumbles as he signs it, apparently a lot of people grumble when they are displeased or bested, it's not just Gwen.

    "Wow, that's kind of embarrassing." I see Alan standing by the door, halfway in the doorway with another guy in the same uniform. I assume the other guy is the one who spoke.

    "Rolland get back to work! Alan, pray to the lords that this girl of yours is never angry at you, or else you will obviously suffer." The manager wails.

    "Stop being such a crybaby, it's only a difference of thirty percent, I would've won in either case, this case is just more of a crushing victory. It's good for my self confidence." I once again form a lightbulb above my head when I realize something, "I should've asked for a higher raise! Or a job! I need a job, for credibility purposes."

    "You don't want to work here." Rolland calls from across the store and Alan just sighs, still half hidden at the edge of the door.

    "Yes I do, it's easy to trick your boss, I could probably have his job by the end of the week!" I call back, eliciting an amused snort from Alan and an approving whistle from Rolland.