Genius

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

I do bad things for a living

    "What?" He asks, I doubt he misheard me, he just wants to believe he did.

    "I shot her, right through the skull." I mimic shooting a gun with my hands.

    "That's not like Alice, it's self-defense." His reasoning is solid, I could agree with him and it's be over: in the name of self defense. I smile wistfully,

    "No, it wasn't."

    "What do you mean?" His confusion only seems to grow.

    "She was on the ground. She wouldn't have gotten up again, ever, because Isa put a knife in her back"

    "She what?" He bolts upright, presumably to go see Isa but I grab his sleeve.

    "I did the best I could, I swear." My grip tightens on his sleeve as my teeth clam onto the bottom lip: I take a breath before continuing, "I didn't make her a murderer." It takes him a second to realize what I mean, but he realizes it.

    "What happened, exactly?" His voice is controlled, for the most part and I have to wonder whether it's fear or anger that he's hiding. Maybe it's disgust,

    "Well everything that I said earlier except Alice was dead and, instead of her, it was Isa who stabbed Mrs. Brandon. I don't really know anything beyond that, Isa must have cut her ropes with the knife that was thr-dropped near her and then she wanted to save me." I wait a few seconds for a response, but I don't get one,

    "Are you angry?"

    "Yes."

    "I'm so sor-" I begin,

    "I'm not mad at you. Not Isa either. I'm not even sure that I'm angry at the Brandons, or your parents." He cuts me off, I'm not sure if I should be offended or relieved so I chose both.

    "Then who are you mad at?"

    "I don't know." He buries his head in his hands. I have an idea who he's angry at.

    "I used to avoid my problems. It got me hurt. It got people I cared about hurt. It got people I didn't care about hurt. I had a sister. When I was eight years old my mother got pregnant with a second child and I thought "I won't have to do this alone anymore" and then I thought "Someone else is going to have to grow up just like I did" so I ignored her pregnancy. I ignored it for all of eight months before climbing up a tree when Hal was away and threatening to throw myself off of it unless she promised she wouldn't make this new kid do anything I had to do. I wasn't actually going to throw myself off of the tree and she knew it, she even dared me to jump. But then I slipped. I managed to grab onto a branch but neither me nor the branch was strong enough to keep that up, Alice knew that. She tried to climb up the tree to get me, she got very close before her foot slipped. I fell down after her, but I managed to get away with a twisted ankle. She didn't, hence the had."

    "That wasn't your fault."

    "It wasn't, was it? So then why are you blaming yourself for something that wasn't even your fault. It's not like you didn't try, it's not like you hid in your closet until the situation went away. By your own logic, it wasn't your fault that Isa got caught." I flick a piece of dust that floated down from the supply closet ceiling at him.

    "That's different." He mutter, batting the dust away and trying not to sneeze when he accidentally inhales some. He sneezes despite his best efforts.

    "It is different. That doesn't mean you're to blame. And if you keep feeling sorry for yourself I swear I will flick more dust at you."

    "Fine. I don't want to have some sort of deadly asthma attack anyways." He puffs out his cheeks and refuses to meet my eyes like some sort of insolent child.