Four Leaf Clover (Awsten Knight)

Chapter 5

A/N : Okay hey guys. So you probably will skip this but I warn you. I'm not trying to promote self harm but there will be a mention somewhat in this book. I thin k it's something society ignores or just calls 'attention seeking'. I personally understand a lot of it, so I'm going to try and make this as least graphic. Just a heads up :)

We were about to get off the bus and enter the venue when I was stopped. 

"You might get a little hot with all that material on. Maybe wear something lighter and bring a jacket?" Geoff said with a friendly smile. I nodded, and thought about it. I decided if worst comes to worst, I'll just tap outside for a little, as it is pretty cold still. I grabbed my camera and camera bag and followed the guys into the venue. It wasn't enormous, but it wasn't small. The guys were getting ready and Lucas walked up to me.

"How've you been?" He asked, from a far, anyone could assume he was just being friendly. But his eyes were more concerned. I sighed. I knew what he was getting at.

"Oh you know..." I muttered, raising my camera to my face so I could get some photos of the boys. He turned to me, so I put my camera down, looking at him. 

"I know you don't want to hear what I have to say, but James wanted me to keep an eye out. I just need you to," He was interrupted by the boys running towards us. 

"Aren't you excited?!" Awsten asked me, practically yelling. I nodded, with a small smile, causing  his expression to go to a soft frown.                                                                                                                             

"Are you okay?" Otto asked, and Awsten and Geoff followed up with 'yea's' I nodded with a bigger smile and they smiled back. The doors were going to open soon, so I walked back to my position on the side. 

*LOL TIME SKIP BITCHES*

The show was amazing. All the fans were so adorable and it was overall a good concert. Everyone wanted to celebrate but I managed to slip out of it, walking back to the tour bus alone. 

I started to offload the photos and whatnot. I grabbed a granola bar and was scrolling through when I got a text. I opened my phone and a small smile appeared on my lips.

Unknown number: Hey girl! Where did you go? I'm all alone!!

Awsten.

Me: Went back to the bus, will see you later!!

Awsten: Ugh. Fine. 

I smiled. I definitely was starting to like this boy. 

I closed my phone, and turned off my camera, plugging the battery in. I decided I would take a quick shower just to wash off the sweat and overall grossness. I grabbed some comfy clothes and went towards the back of the bus. 

I turned on the shower, heating it up and I stripped, but not fully. I sighed and just looked at myself. (Slight trigger warning up ahead, find other bold letters to skip!!)

I stepped into the shower and just looked at my body, of what I could see. Both inner parts of my wrists had scars, part of my left bicep, and my thighs. I was a wreck. Tears started to fall. I leaned against the shower walling, sinking to the floor. How did I get this deep. How did I get away with it. How am I going to get away with it. 

I finished up my shower, in tears, and re-dressed into a tank top and sweatpants. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and opened the door, not expecting the whole gang to be back. My eyes went wide and I shut the door. Shit. I heard faint concerns and a 'Marley?' but I just decided to plan. I grabbed my bag and basically hugged it tight to hide anything from anyone. I practically ran to my bunk and found a zip up hoodie. I threw that on, and turned to see an Awsten (YOU CAN RESUME YOU BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN). 

"Hey, are you okay?" Awsten asked me. My mind answered that for me 'LOL NOPE! Not even close you cutie!' but of course, I nodded. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" I could list you a million reasons.