Handprints on the Glass

Handprints on the Glass part 2: Four Simple Words

    Who could ever guess that four simple words strung together to make a short sentence could  rip your heart out? 

  

               "Your son has cancer."

 

That was all the doctor had to say to make Joanna feel faint and have to sit down.  Tears instantly filled her eyes.  She blinked them away and the droplets ran down her cheeks and onto her lips.  She could taste the salty tears as she tried to speak.

  

What.........why.........how?   She couldnt think rationally.  She stood afraid and crying and thought This isnt fair. Hes four years old. What could he ever have done to deserve this?

Noticing that Joanna had lost the ability to speak the doctor tried his best to explain what was happening;

Im sorry Miss Miller, this is a horrible thing. Im afraid it is very advanced. Very aggressive.  We are guessing he has  maybe six months, maybe a little less.

Joanna sobbed loudly and the doctor told her, I'll call your mother and tell her to come into the office.

Joanna sniffled and composed herself enough to say "How?

Im really sorry Jo, I wish there was an explaination.  Cancer is a horrid creature. No real rhyme or reason to it. it basically attacks at will. Im so sorry.

When Joanna's mother arrived at the hospital Joanna told her the terrible news and they hugged each other tight and cried so hard it sounded like they were screaming.  After they had regained a bit of control the doctor informed them that there was nothing they could do at the hospital.  The most medicine was capable of was keeping her son comfortable and in less pain untill he passed.  She could take Justin home but he wouldnt be able to go outside and play. Wouldn't be able to do much of anything actually. He just wouldnt be strong enough .She would have to quit her job and stay home to take care of her dying son.

                Watching the Outside World

  Honey?

Yes momma?

Do you want to watch a little tv?

No momma.  Ooh look! Theres Jimmy! Look momma, he's got a remote control car!

Justin didnt want to watch tv.  In fact he had watched almost no tv since his diagnosis.  Instead he watched the outside world through the window of their third floor apartment.  Most of the day Justin would sit on a chair pushed up against the wall and place his tiny hands on the glass.  He would watch the neighborhood kids playing soccer and smile at how much fun it would be to join. He would watch with glee as the ice cream truck meandered by playing the same silly song over and over.  Then tears would come to his little blue eyes as he realized he had no way of making the driver stop.  Before he had gotten sick he and his brother would play in the front lot of their apartment complex and Justin would wave his hands furiously at the truck until it pulled over and he could pick a delicious treat.

Justin?

Yes momma?

Are you hungry baby? Why dont you come to the table and eat something?

Can I eat in front of the window momma? Everybody is getting home from work and I want to knock on the window and wave to them.

Ok honey, Joanna told her little boy, Ill bring it over.

Thanks momma! Momma look! Mr Johnson got a knew car! Wow its cool.

Time for bed soon honey.

Momma?

Yes honey?

Can I sleep in the chair by the window?

Im sorry Justin, you really need to go into your bed tonight. After you take your medicine you are going to be really tired.  I dont want you rolling off of the chair and getting hurt. Ok honey?

Ok momma.  Can I stay in the chair and watch the street untill I fall asleep.  You can carry me to my bed after.

Joanna wanted to take him to his bed where he could sleep like a normal little boy but she didnt have the heart to deprive him of his main source of happiness.  Watching the outside world.

Ok Justin, as long as you dont try to stay up real late like last night.  Here now take your medicine baby.

Ok momma.

After taking his medicine Justin almost instantly fell asleep in his chair by the window.  Picking up her dying little boy Joanna was helpless to keep the tears from falling. She stared at the sweet  face of her little angel she knew would soon be taken from her and tried not to sob loud enough to wake him .