The Sub

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

               I woke up still in my dress from last night. I don't remember falling asleep. I'm lying in my stomach clenching to my pillow so I stay like that for a while. I can feel the dried years on my cheek and I know I must look awful. Honestly, I don't care. I go to sit up and wince at the stinging sensation.

               Why did I let him do that to me last night? All I had to do was say no and it would have been okay. I might even have met his parents. I just liked the thought of being in his world and pleasing him completely I assume. I wasn't thinking. It's my entire fault. It's my fault I'm sitting her uncomfortably with makeup running down my face.

               It scares me about how much I enjoyed it after. The quick pace and hard thrusts have me a feeling I never knew existed. I know I enjoyed it but at the same time I felt so out of it. I didn't know how to react. The sex was fine, amazing even. I wouldn't mind that once in a while but the spanking is what is making me feel this way. Along with the clothes he bought me. It's making me feel cheap and even used. What if he's using me for this? How do I know this isn't some twisted game of his? We've been together what, two weeks? Three maybe? Everything just happened fast and I can't keep up.

               "Stop over thinking." I whisper to myself. Although I don't think I am over thinking but I'm contradicting myself so I may be. Maybe I just need to sleep more. Later I have to talk to him about never spanking me again. He will never do that again, unless it's on my terms. Even if I slightly enjoyed his dominate side, I don't ever want to feel so out if control ever again. I didn't like the feeling of being so inferior.

               I shake my head and wipe my eyes. I get off my bed and peel the dress from my body along with the jewelry. My hair is in knots so I brush it out.  I take my underwear off and turn to look at my butt. It's still slightly red and I think it has some slight bruising. He hit me that hard? I walk into my bathroom and wash my face before getting in the shower. Once I'm done I wrap my robe around me and go back to my room. My bum feels a bit better now, well until I sit on it.

               There's a knock at my door. "Come in." I say loud enough for whomever to hear.

               It's my mom. She walks in already dressed and her makeup and hair is done. I already know what's coming. "Hey baby, I've came to tell you goodbye until Friday. I love you. Your dad left earlier, but I'm taking the later flight because I wanted to tell you goodbye. Your father loves you a lot.  I'll see later." She hugs me and kisses my cheek then leaves.

               This time I don't feel as upset as usual. Now that I've seen all the company does for them, like the parties to show appreciation for the work they do. My father explained it all on the way to the party. I see it in a better light now. I’ve just decided to take a break from seeing Luke.

                                                                                                1 week later

               My phone starts ringing and it's Luke. I silence it and then proceed to get dressed. I want to talk, but in person. I’ve only talked to him once since the masquerade. After getting dressed I decide to call Jacob. I haven't seen or talked to him since that party at Cameron's. Before that I do believe Easter before the end of my junior year was when I last spoke to him. He doesn’t like coming home for the summer. I'm even starting to feel like an only child.