Cub Love

14

'why on earth is he here? and of all the diners in the world, really?'

God must have some hidden anger towards me for doing this. I looked away immediately once our eyes locked. He still has this effect on me, my poor heart, its pounding like its about to explode. I hate to admit this but despite what he did, I can still say that I still like him.

Chris must've noticed the sudden change on my mood as he asked me whats wrong. I simply replied 'nothing' then focused my attention on the food.

Chris leaned closer to me, tightened his arms around my shoulders. At that point, I was thankful having him by my side. I felt secure and safe when Im around him.

" Yo Jerrald!"  He said, I panicked at what I heard that, also confused. ' He knows him?' They're friends? !!!!

I never looked up, I continued eating and lowered my gaze, I even want to burry my face on my food, hoping it will change the situation that I am in.
Then I felt someone took a seat infront of us, and I dont need to look to know who it is.

"Hey man, I see you got a date here."  His voice, grrr its just so nice.

Chris squeezed my shoulder a little bit then kissed me on the cheek. I froze at that, its so sudden and I cant help but blush harder at that. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah this is my cutie." He said with a grin present on his face.

I dared to look at the man infront of me, my heart skipped a beat when our eyes locked, his gaze is intense and serious but I cant read what he's thinking about. He looks upset, but why would he be ? Maybe him and Chris have an issue, I dunno..  He's still staring when he spoke and turned to Chris.

"Are you two.. like boyfriends now?"

I was about to speak when Chris spoke first. " Not yet, but we'll get there." He said. Jerrald, just nodded at that. I take a look at him again and I wonder if Im just imagining things but I kinda saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

" Do you know each other?" Chris voiced out, the question directed towards Jerrald and me.

"Yeahh. hmmmm we .. we ere high school ahh,, he is my classmate back in high school.." I said. 'Thats great Van, you're stuttering like a freak.'
Chris just nodded at that and I began to eat again.  Jerrald stood up and said his goodbyes to Chris, totally ignoring my existence. How rude. hmpp..

Chris paid for the food and we left the diner. We are now walking, strolling along the streets. I asked him earlier, as I don't wanna go home yet and also I kinda want to still be with him, though I did not mentioned that to him.

Out hands and shoulders are slightly brushing while walking, I just want to hold his hands or atleast grab his arms like a kid. But I refused to do that, well, yes he's being sweet and flirts with me every once in a while but Chris have never said a thing about him liking me. And I don't want to jump into conclusions and assume thats why Im hesitant on holding him.

" Is there something you want to tell me between you and Jerrald?" He asked, that brought me out of my train of thoughts about 'him'.

I really dont know if I want to tell him about what happened but I also dont want to lie, specially not to Chris.. I contemplated a little more about it and decided to tell him what happened..... So thats what I did. I told him the story from start to finish...

After what I told him, it was silent, he just tucked both of his hands in his pockets, he is looking straight ahead with a serious expression on his face. I want to speak, I want to touch him, ask him whats wrong but I just couldn't. A few more walking then we decided to head home, again it was silent. The only time he spoke to me was when he told me that we should go home as its getting late and thats it.

I am now inside the house, I peeked through our windows only to see his car moving away our house. I really don't know what to feel right now. I dont know, in fact I don't even know what really happened earlier.  As far as I know, all I said was the truth and I never did or said something to piss him off.

maybe
maybe

I think thats it, he already realized and saw how much of a looser I am. yeah thats right. Im a worthless peace of shit of  course he would see that. In addition to that, he also now knew that Im easy, I let one of his friends fuck me..... Im sure that he went to see his friends now, including Jerrald. They are all laughing at me right now. GOD!!! I'm one hell of a joke....

My vision blurred and I let my tears fall down from my eyes.....

" What are you doing there Hun?" My mother asked.

" Im praying." I replied to her. Right now Im done crying but Im still standing on the window.
Glad that my mom, did not approached me after that and she just went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

" Ok, I'll just call you when the dinner's ready." She shouted.

" Ok mom!" I shouted back then went to my room. I fell face first on my bed to sleep.

That night, I never dared to call or text Chris, and sadly he never did too. It hurts that everything changed that fast. I was starting to feel something for him and I truly like him, his face, smile, voice. I waited for his call, as we always do that every night but it never came. I cried and cried until I felt so tired and decided to sleep.

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Borring Chapter. I really don't know what Im doing.

I feel like stopping this story from here, Ive lost the inspiration that I have when I started this.

;(