Cub Love

25

Van

It took a lot of pursuing and begging before Chris agreed to let me go and hang out with Jerrald. To Chris to others, it might sound wrong but to me it isn't. I dont have anything in mind. It's just like hanging out with Alex and Mel. I know that me and Jerrald had some kind of weird history behind us however, thats already in the past. We can't do anything about it, all we can do is to just move on and accept. Move forward.

Also, I feel like Jerrald needs a friend. He broke up with his girlfriend and is now living alone. Also I forgot to tell you that since Chris hates him so much, Jerrald stoped hanging out with their group of friends. I tried to talk Chris out about it. I want them to be friends again and fix whatever thay had before but he's so stubborn.

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Jerrald, said that he will cook for us and he promised me that he'll not drink this time, which is a good thing.

I just entered his apartment since the door is open. The place is filled with the smell of whatever he's making and it smells delicious. The apartment is neat. It seems like Jerrald prepared for my arrival, but it cant be. No its not because of me. The thought of him giving me that much importance made me all flutered.

"Hey you..."

I jumped when someone speak behind me.

"hehe... you really are jumpy.."

Then I saw him. Not wearing any shirt at all, just sweat pants. He really is.. attractive  I'd give him that. .. No . no stop thinking like that, think about Chris. Yes. Chris. I sighed, rubbbed the back of my neck and just stared at him.

"Oh.. sorry hmm I'll go put on some shirt."

Gladly.. He realized that its awkward if he will stay shirtless given that its just the two of us here.

"Sorry if I came a bit early. If you still have some errands to do please dont mind me."

I said apologetically.

" No. no.... I just have to finish cooking then we can eat."

" Alright."

" You can just stay here, watch T.V or something."  He said and proceeded on turning on his T.V.

" Ok."  I almost chuckled at his sudden clumsyness and nervousness. He just looks so cute.

" Do you want anything? hmm juice, water, coffee?"  He asked.

"Jer... I said dont mind me right? Please just do what you need to do." I said, as an assurance that I'm all good.

After that, it just dawned on me that I still like this boy. I still have this stupid crush for him. It feels good, but I also feel like this when I'm with Chris. Why is this so confusing? Why do I have to like two persons at the same time? I dont know what to do..

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The dinner went well, we talked and laughed about random things. The food was great, I just recently knew that he can cook well.

Again, Jerrald has always been good, great even and that's something that I cant deny about him. We're now watching a movie infront of his T.V while on his couch. I feel so nostalgic. This is exactly like the last time, the only difference is that were not drinking any alcohol now.

"You know, I'm glad that you still befriended me after what I did."

He said, sounding sorry and sad.

"Look.. hmm lets just not talk about it please?" I said, smiling at him.

He just nodded in agreement then turned his gaze on the screen again.

"So how are you and Chris?"

" Hmm were good."

" So you two are like official now?,, you know since he met your parents already."

Are we? The way we are acting is just like a real couple but Chris never really asked me yet to be his boyfriend but again, we are acting like we are. I dont know, maybe he's also unsure like me.

"Actually not yet, "  I said.

" Oh, why is that? " He turned towards me not focusing on the movie anymore. Its as if that sparked his interest.

"Its just, we .. we haven't really talked about labelling us yet. Also.. hmmm I'll be going off to college agaim soon. .. I think I cant handle, a long distance relationship."

I explained.  God I dont know why I'm blurting this out to him,  I think its because I really dont have someone to talk about this. I've been holdinh this in for the past few weeks. Worrying what will happen to Chris and I when I moved out again.

I dont want to tell Chris about it and I really dont know if he's just ignoring it given that he knows that I'm in College. I dont know, I dont want to see him upset and sad thats what I'm sure of.

" That sucks. " Jer, said.

" I know." I replied then lowered my gaze to my lap.

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After the movie, we just stayed in a comfortable silence, neither one of us is speaking.  Then I felt Jer, move a bit closer to me.

"hmm Jer.. "

"Shhh.... You know I like it when you call me Jer,.. only you calls me that" He said inching a bit closer to my ear. His hot breath.. his breath brought tingles down on me and it freakin turned me on. God it did!

"I think we .. we should.. watch another... .. ahh ah."

I tried to finish my sentence but I just cant help the moan when he licked my ears. Thats one of my sensitive spots. It feels freakin good. I felt so high and intoxicated ad he continued to do that. Soft mewls and moans escaping my mouth. Then his hands travelled along my body and the other is at the back of my head caressing my hair.

Aftee hungrily rummaging my ears he then kissed me. He kissed me softly and with passion. I cant help but kiss him back, our lips and tongue's glided with each other. Why do this feel right and perfect? This is the same feelings that I have when me and Chris kiss and touch.

This makes me confused more. When Im with Chris, I feel the same way, I like him, I really do but the feelings are all the same with Jerrald. Its weird and confusing. 

This is horrible, a person cant have two at a time thats not right. How can I be so selfish? Without thinking any further, I pulled away from the kiss.

"Why?"  He asked.

"Its just not right.. "

"But you kissed me back.. You reciprocated"

He's right. It's my fault, I let him do it to me. Its my fault.

" I know, I'm sorry."

" No, I'm sorry, its not right of me to do that. I guess what I really want to point out is, I still like you. A lot, Van. But don't worry, I wont push myself onto you.. I think I just got carried away since I found out that you're still single and all."   He explained.

God! This boys.... God, why do you have to make things so complicated?

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A/N

I must confess that this is not how this story was originally planned.

Let me know what are your thoughts.