Chapter 3-Ocean’s POV:
Anne drove me to the hospital for my first mental repair therapy session. We wait in the hospital for five minutes of complete silence before I say goodbye to Anne and I am led to a room with many health posters on the walls and a set of windows on the far wall. The walls are painted a plain white with florescent lights lining the roof.
“Take a seat here.”
The doctor says. I sit in a big black office chair and the doctor sat on a cushioned stool in front of me, “I’m Dr. Carmen. I’ll be your mental repair therapist.”
“I’m Ocean.”
I say politely. She smiles, reaching to a stack of cards on the table beside her, “I’m just going to hold up some pictures and I want you to tell me what they are.” I nod as she holds up the first picture, “A fork. A car. A book. A shelf. A bowl. A spoon. A knife. A tree.”
It went like that for a few minutes. There was about a hundred pictures that she showed me and I was simply asked a few questions, non that were difficult. After we finish with the pictures, she shows me some words and asks me to sound them out slowly. She then holds up some ink splattered pictures and I'm asked what I saw. Then she asks me a few questions about myself. I have trouble with stuff like my address and my locker combination at school.
When she asks me things about my new family, I almost have an anxiety attack from the chronic thinking. It's hard for me to breath and the pressure was weighing on my fragile heart, making my heart rate speed rapidly. Dr. Carmen says it's out of stress and I might experience more attacks for the next couple of weeks. She doesn’t ask me any more questions after that.
It wasn’t hard for me to identify those objects or species that she showed me. That knowledge didn’t need to be rediscovered. But when it came to stuff about myself and my family. It's hard for me to make something of them, when I couldn’t think. Simple things like what their names were caused me great struggle with remembering. It was just like that, the questions kept piling up and the unknown answers kept swirling around in my head and it all just bundled up. It's hard for me to breathe and we had to do a breathing routine to get my heart back to normal.
I was glad when we were finally done, because my brain had developed a head ache. Anne picked me up and I took some Tylenol after supper and before going into the shower and crawling into bed.
...
During the course of the night, I had come to a conclusion. I could identify objects like, a lamp, or television. I knew what clothing was which, like a t-shirt, or pants. I could tell who worked as what like, a cashier, or sales representative. I knew the utensils in a kitchen and I knew what kinds of appliances there were like, a car, heater or air conditioner. I knew everything else. I guess it was just my life, and the people in it that was blurry.
I had spent my time in the house to walk around and tell myself what stuff was. I wore the necklace throughout the days of my life. I occasionally asking Gemma to drive me downtown so that I could see faces and try to see which person was familiar. Another thing that I knew was how to get places, I could easily find my way home sometimes without my mind actually knowing. Like the map in my head was automatic.
The key in my life was something that drove me crazy. The faces on the street didn’t give me butterflies. I longed to see the green eyes. I only saw them three times in the five days I’ve been home from the hospital. Twice the first day and once again when I went into the music room the day after the first, I've devoted some spare tim ein my life to learn the song that was left on the stand. It’s a process at the moment.
“I’m gonna go to school.” I say Monday morning. Gemma looks at me for a long time, her brow knitting together in question, “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“Yeah I looked over all the stuff in my binder and did some online worksheets, I’m all caught up now.” She sighs with a nod. We walk together to her car and I sit in the passenger seat.
The drive is awkwardly quiet, most of the time I'm caught in my mind. It seemed that we both wanted to say something but the words were stuck in our throats.
I was happy when I got to school. I didn’t like the silence, and at least I had the chatter of students to fill it. I wave bye to Gemma and she drove off. I walk up the front stairs and into the school. I had dug out an old school map from my binder and looked at it carefully and slowy, trying to memorize the passages.
As I walk throuht the halls with my nose in the map I feel the stare of the students around me. I glance up and they don’t look away even though I had expected them to. If they were going to stare, they could at least be subtle about it.
In between glances at my map I try to identify the faces of students. None of them rang a bell. When I look at one they didn’t seem familiar like the objects that I observed back home.
I found my locker quite easily, sometimes I knew which corner to turn. But I'd double check the map each time. I did my combination carefully and the door opened. I looked in it. There were pictures on the door. One of Gemma and I, another is a photobooth picture of myself with a group of girls. The third one is two people making a heart with their hands. I didn’t know if one of the hands was mine, the picture ended about half way up their forearms.
I look down at my hand then back at the picture. It's exactly the same but I have my doubts. I divert my attention at the other hand. It looks much larger then the other hand that I assume to be mind. The hand had a black leather watch on it and tattoos along the top of the wrist. They had a tattoo of a thin lined cross along the bone of their thumb. The tattoo wasn’t inked directly on their thumb just below the bottom knuckle.
Suddenly I notice someone looking at me from my side. I turn my head sideways and see a girl about ten lockers down. She has long curly brown hair with a slender body and tanned skin. Her eyes looking right at mine. At her sight I instantly felt exposed. Her icy stare locks on my face for a moment longer, then she quickly turns and walks away. There was something familiar about her. The same feeling that I had around Gemma and Anne, came back to haunt me. But this time the feeling felt more distant. Did I know her?
...
At lunch I awkwardly made my way down the lunch line without being disturbed. I once or twice caught people talking garbage about me. But once my presence was seen, they immediately stopped. I found myself wandering to the outside of all the racket and laughter in the cafeteria. I sat at an empty table looking around at the students, acting immature. I guess my time as being a bystander was starting.
As I look around I wondered which one of these people were my friends. Or if I had any. I would feel pretty bad if I was alone here. I hope soon someone would notice me and want to be friends, either that or I hope I get used to being alone.
Then there they were. A group of people sitting a few tables down from mine. They all encircled the table. Smiling and laughing like the rest of the people in the cafeteria. The girl that I saw this morning was sitting with them too.
One boy looks over his shoulder at me. He had dark hair in a quiff on his head and a light stubble on his jaw. He wore a flannel shirt and worn out jeans. There was clearly visible tattoos all along his right forearm. He looked at me for the longest time it felt. A flash of red eyes flash in my mind. They resembled his. I took a quick breath in, my body motionless. I felt a sudden caring for him. His face so familiar, like the others at the table. He was the only one who notice me. Our eyes locked for the moment where I held my own breath, then I looked down. There were people in my life, I concluded to myself. But I didn’t understand what I did for them to hide from me.
(I'm sorry I didn't update a lot this weekend I went camping. But please don't forget to comment and vote!!!)
YOU ARE READING
The Willows (book three)
FanfictionOcean Hayes can't remember the last six months of her life. After the initial shock of waking up in a hospital and being told she ran away for no apparent reason, she's determined to find out the truth about her life. But there is this familiarity t...