The Willows (book three)

Chapter 7

songs for this chapter:

Oblivion~Bastille

Chapter 7-Ocean’s POV:

I let the inside chase away all the fear that I have for the future. Every part of me is uncertain of things that girls plan out when their ten. My future has just become a swirling pool of not knowing. I wonder if I did know. I wonder if I was one of those life dedicated people who planned their success ahead of time. I wonder if the amnesia just ruined it all.

Someone settles down on the stool next to me. Although I wanted to be alone I can tolerate the person who probably wishes for the same thing. Seconds pass, I don’t look at the stranger but I see them in the corner of my eye. I just casually look around trying to pass the time before I have to retreat back home to escape the rain fall. My only thought that will stick around the longest is the one about not knowing. I know I always bring myself to think this. But I wish I knew, it is my biggest need right now. The pieces are coming, that is a good sign but they were coming slowly. I guess I just wish that I can skip this part of my life.

“Hi.”

A deep voice says. I turn to see Edward sitting on the stool next to me his elbows resting on the top of the window table as he comfortably slouches, intently look at me. A mop of waves on his head, pushed back off of his forehead.

I don’t know how to respond, so I just say something simple, “Hi.” He barely holds a smile on his face, his eyes cast over the spacious café, “What are you doing here?” I found my own voice letting the words slip away from me. He shrugs, “Need to just relax for a bit.” My heart beat is quickening but I can’t explain the reaction, “Are you following me?” I ask, he doesn’t look at me while he speaks, “Maybe.” He says, with a small smile. Frustration taking over me, “What are you not telling me?” I force to ask him, “I’ve told you everything I can.” He insists, trying to keep his voice calm. I can’t believe it for a second, “It’s not enough.” He looks into my eyes. My heart feels the beautiful sensation all over again. 

“What do you want me to tell you, Ocean?” He says, “I want you to just admit that I know you in some way.”

“How can I admit something that isn’t true?” 

Each word that comes out stabs him in the sou just a little bit. The hurt and pain in his eyes says he is lying, I'm not going to waste my breath trying to make him say it. I turn on the stool and face him, our eyes locked together.

“Somehow, you're familiar.” His eyes never leave me, the breathtaking jade is no comparison to my common brown. I lightly pinch the paper airplane charm between my index finger and thumb, “Somehow you know who gave me this.” Edward's eyes drop down to the necklace. He lifts his hand and takes the charm in his fingers. His eyes are full of pain and guilt.

“I’ve never seen this before.” 

I feel myself getting frustrated, a pebble in my throat that refuses to be swallowed. His face is so close to mine, a foot of space between us. A sensation electrocutes me throughout my whole system, igniting me in blazing flames. His green eyes look at the charm for a long period of time. 

I take in the features on his face. I wonder what it feels like to be held by him, to be kissed by him. I blink, astonished by my thought’s will to imagine such affection to a boy who claims he doesn’t know me.

Edward’s eyes trail up to meet mine. Suddenly the kissing idea doesn’t sound so bad. He glances at my lips then up at my eyes. Hesitating suddenly, he began to lean in. The sensation of being in close proximity to him was indescribable. His face was just inches from mine, hot breath trickling down my top lip. How could someone that I barely know give me such a sensation that the thought of pulling away right now is too regretful to even consider? I know this isn’t right. It's the immature act of a girl whose decisions are based on life experiences. The need for affection from the male society. 

Edward still holds the necklace in his hand as he moves closer. I don’t let myself think about it when I am the first to pull away. Edward releases the necklace. I turn on the stool, facing forwards. 

I can feel Edward’s eyes searching me for a reason why I pulled away. But I can’t find a reason myself. I loved the fact that his closeness gave me an addictive sensation. I loved that he moved in slowly like he wanted me to experience the feeling and give my mind time to think about it. I loved the feeling when our noses brushed together. I loved the feeling of his breath making my skin tingle. I loved the way my palms were sweaty and my heart beat fast. I loved the gentle touch he had with me. I loved the fact that even though we didn’t kiss I felt like there were enough butterflies in my stomach to argue against that notion. I loved everything about it so I didn’t see why I pulled away. Maybe I am afraid. I hated to admit it but when he inched closer to my lips I felt myself thinking what if he isn’t the guy people aren’t telling me about? What if he isn’t the guy that I know I’ve fallen in love with but can’t remember? What if he isn’t him?

“I’m sorry, Ocean. I shouldn’t-”

“It’s fine.”

I say not making eye contact with him, “I’m fine.” I seem to be convincing myself the fact that I was fine rather than Edward. I am not completely sure that I am fine though.

“I should go.” I hop down to the floor and Edward does too. I begin to walk away when he doesn’t say anything but I feel his hand wrap around my wrist, “Ocean don’t go." He says in a tone that  is quite similar to a beg, "I'm sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear. And I'm sorry I did that, I just thought that maybe if she'll put up sitting with me, maybe she's not as frightened of me as I thought.” I turn to face him, "You think you frighten me?" I question, not knowing what made him ever think that, "Do I frighten you?" I reluctantly step closer to him, "You didn't hurt me the way I thought you would. You saved my life." I pause, "You don't frighten me, Edward. You protect me."

The realization hits him at my words, a small smile pulls at one side of his mouth, “I haven't really thought of it that way.” His hand moves down to mine, “Well, now you can think of it that way from now on.”

His smile grows, lost in thought, "I like it." I look down, diverting my eyes to the window as small droplets of rain begin to slowly drizzle on the window, "I should go, I don't want to get soaked walking to my car." I informed him. He nods, "Okay."

I gaze at him, holding that last bit of green before he releases my hand and I step away. Leaving him standing there. I come to a halt after a couple of steps, quickly turning I step in front of him and wrap my arms around his neck. He doesn't object, his strong arms holding me against him, "I thought you were leaving."

I feel him smile against my shoulder, "I forgot to thank you again." I find my own smile grow, "Thank you."

I say quietly. His curls tickle my forehead as I embrace him. I withdraw moments later, giving him a small smile before walking out again. My racing heart beat joining the butterflies in my stomach.

"Ocean?"

He calls after me. I spin around again to face him. His expression had drastically changed in a matter of seconds, "You should stay away from me." He says, "I know you're not afraid of me but you should stay away from me. I'm afraid I'm not entirely the most innocent person you think I am."

I shrug, "I stay away from you, if you stay away from me. Okay?" He nods reluctantly, "Okay." I smile small and turn away for the last time, exiting the café before he can say anything else.