right here, i am about to describe my very best friend, and i want you to build him inside of your head, using only the words i have written.
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he's never let me down, he's never lied to me. he is my best friend, and nothing will change that. to me, he is magnificent. words can't fully accompany him since none of the high school stereotypes fit who he really is. not quite not smart enough to be a nerd, but he's a musical genius. his weakness is staying up late playing violent (though he's not a violent person) video games despite having school in the morning. i've known him for nearly five years, and i don't think i've ever seen him eat a full meal.
the shaggy brown haircut he's kept since the sixth grade covers every inch of his forehead, right down to his eyebrows. i've never seen all of his forehead, mind you. his thick glasses brighten his eyes just a bit. he's got long bones and no weight to comfort them- a skeleton of a kid. but despite whatever personality you'd pair with pale skin and a bony frame (be it depressing outcast or not), he is warm. the warmest type of warm. the one that will never leave you cold, but will never suffocate you. just right. i appreciate him more than he'll ever know.
having a best friend who suffers from depression is no joyride, sure. he battles with the demons in his head often, but i make sure he wins every fight. because if i were to lose him, i'd collapse. he is my glue. he is what holds me together, i think.
we like to play this game when one of us is feeling down. whoever keeps a straight face the longest wins. i never win that stupid game, but i'll never stop playing. because even if it means losing every. single. time. it also means getting to watch him smile just after. he is my best friend, and i've no idea what i'd do without him. he goes by many nicknames (most commonly "best friend"). but to him, i'll always be just lani. he is simple, but the purest kind. the best kind.
the best thing about him, you ask? i can't tell you. i could never pick my favorite part. maybe it's the way his brown eyes emit that warmth i was talking about, or the way he always hugs me before saying goodbye. perhaps it's the way he always smells like home. whatever that means to you, that's what it is. his too big hoodie never fails at making me smile when i get to bury my nose in it for those few, peaceful moments. and he always smells like home .
i think the most important thing you should know is how i love him, not how much. though i do love him a great deal, it's not like the way you love your significant other or your own mother. it's the way you love your bestfriend. it's like the way you love your little brother (I like to call him that, seeing he is two months and sixteen days younger than i am). he's like that first feeling you get on christmas morning or the comfort of knowing you're not alone. he makes you feel sinless, as if you've never done anything wrong. he always knows just what to say, which is sometimes saying nothing at all. he knows me, which i think is a rare thing for someone to know.
i can never lie to him, even if i wanted to. why? because he'd be able to tell. he knows i always blink a lot when i lie. and i always smile. he always knows just how to get me to do it, too. all he has to say is, "oh, so you're doing that thing where you pretend not to smile... there it is." and, just like that, i'm smiling (and usually laughing, too). he makes me happier than anyone else can. he is my reason to face every challenge. he is the person who's given me purpose unlike anyone else. he is my lifeline, my lungs if you will. he is of upmost importance to me, but i'll always forget to tell him. but he already knows. i know he does just in the way he smiles at me. sometimes, it's hard for him to keep a straight face, too. (he still manages ot win that bloody game, though).
so, he's with me through every stupid decision. we never could function without the other. i'm the luckiest person in the world because he's my best friend. of all the people in the world, he is the best person i could ever ask to call my best friend. this one's for you, josh.
