will likes to write down his feelings after a panic attack in his journal. it has star wars stickers all over the front. dustin got him them for his 12th birthday two years ago.
wills writing in his journal about how he's feeling today.
all i want is for this to be over. yesterday, i finally figured out who i am. i'm queer. i'm a little scared, but i'm proud. i told my mom. well, i didn't really tell my mom. she somehow knew. then i had a panic attack about anyone else finding out, but i'm feeling pretty confident today. i even thought about telling mike about how i feel, but i decided not to last minute.
will feels a tap on his shoulder and shuts his book quickly. it's christopher. "hey will, whatcha doing?"
"oh i'm just uh-" will pauses. he doesn't wanna seem "girly" for writing in a journal.
"just writing a note." will says trying to save himself.
"to who?" chris says smiling.
"oh. nobody." will says and shuts his locker. he starts to walk away. chris grabs wills shoulder and turns him around. "hey, it's okay to have a journal. i get it. i have anxiety too." chris says.
wills so confused. the popular football player who flirts with me, the nerd, has anxiety too? this is perfect.
"well i have met my soulmate!" will says and laughs.
chris looks at will surprised he said that.
"oh no. i meant in a twin type way. like a long lost brother." will says, blushing.
"oh. i get it now" chris laughs. "see you at lunch." chris says and walks away.
troy watches will as he puts his journal away in his locker and walks to lunch.
troy asks samantha for a bobby pin and he picks the lock on wills locker and grabs his journal.
at lunch, will decided to sit with his party, and chris sits with his football team.
troy gets up from his table and walks over to the cafeteria table in the middle when it's time for lunch.
"can i have everyone's attention?" troy yells so everyone can hear
"this here" troy points to the book and shows it to everyone. will gasps. "is the journal of william byers!"
will can feel his throat closing and his heart is pounding. he's too scared to get up
will looks across the cafeteria and he sees chris start to get up but then chickens out. will is now clearly upset and there are now tears dripping onto his shirt
"let's open up to... november 14th.
i don't know how to feel anymore. everything feels different. everything's changing. i don't know what this feeling is and i don't know if i should like it or not
aww william byers has feeings?
"november 15 . love. the feeling is love. i'm in love with someone. but it's not a good feeling. it's scary and different. i'm in love with someone, and it's a boy."
"troy stop!" mike yells
will looks up at mike terrified that troy is gonna read the rest of the journal.
then troy reads wills most recent entry.
"i came out to my mom today!" troy says "aww mommas boy!"
"i'm in love with michael wheeler?" troy yells
everyone's laughing and will starts sobbing now. he runs out of the room. chris runs after him
mike just sits down in his chair and the whole party is shocked
"will!" chris yells. "please talk to me will"
will sits down with his head in his hands. by this point he's crying so much he can't even see.
chris sits down next to will.
"you're.. " chris doesn't finish his sentence.
"gay. christopher. i'm gay. but i thought that maybe i would be able to take my time to tell people but i got that taken away from me all because of troy. "
"wait a minute. you're in love with mike?"
"yes. "
"oh"
"why oh? oh."
will finally got it. christopher liked will
"oh no. christopher i'm so sorry i had no idea. well i did, but i didn't think anything of it." will says
"no it's fine." christopher laughs . "i know you're probably thinking wow popular football player likes me? what universe am i in?"
will laughs
"ever since i stood up for you in the hallway last week i've felt this way. i don't know. you seemed so alone. and then i walked you home on that rainy day i just felt so happy with you."
"chris i like you too." will stops him from talking
"but i thought you loved mike. " chris says confused.
"i do and i always will, but i know i never have a chance with him. it's okay" will says
they sit there in silence. chris reaches over and kisses will. will looks surprised at first but then smiles. then they both sit on the steps for a while after that and talk. joyce pulls in to the school parking lot. will runs to her car.
"bye chris!" he yells
"who's chris?" joyce asks "is he the person you met?"
"yeah" will smiles.
"how are you so happy right now." joyce laughs.
"what?" will is confused.
"will i got the call from your school principal." joyce says.
"oh"
"he told me about the lunch incident."
tears are rolling down wills face
"can we talk about it when we get home" joyce asks.
"mom i don't know"
"okay. whenever you're ready. you know my love for you will never change right?"
will nods
.
