Effortless (h.s.)

Chapter FOURTEEN - drunk thoughts

I wobbled on the dance floor next to Dylan, who was glued to Nicole at the moment. The two of them hadn't stopped making out for almost two hours now. It was starting to get really late, nearing three in the morning and all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and pass out.

The drinking game we had played earlier was not in my favor tonight, after eight shots I almost threw up but somehow managed to keep it all in. I had peed six times in the course of two hours though.

I hadn't drank at all in the past two months, and part of that was because I didn't have the money or the guts for it. Now that Harry was helping me out with working in his apartment I knew I could go out and do whatever I wanted.

That didn't encourage me much though, all I really wanted was to be with him all day.

Lights flashed all over the club with colors of all sorts, it brought me back to being near the front of Harry's concert in the pit. I didn't feel as much joy as I felt then, though. In this club I would look at every attractive man and compare them to Harry. No one was good enough, no one had a heart like he did.

I got pushed into a man and yelled an apology, my eyes couldn't focus on him and I didn't know what was going on but within seconds we were kissing and his face was in my hands. I was so drunk I opened my eyes and looked at his face. A month ago I would have swooned at this guy.

Looks were nothing to me now after meeting such a kind person. I felt my stomach twist in knots picturing Harry home right now with Sierra, so I kissed harder in anger.

The dance floor was so crowed I got pushed off of him quickly and was carried away in a different current of people, luckily.

"I have a boyfriend! Sorry!" I yelled clumsily as I was swept away.

Whenever I was drunk, I was more independent than ever. Before coming out tonight I knew I would have to find a way to get home by myself, it was obvious Dylan had different intentions than I did about going home.

I danced for no more than fifteen minutes, lost Dylan and Nicole, so I decided to push my way out of the club and to the calmer part outside.

There was a hallway leading from the actual club part to the entrance of the club, I leaned up against the wall and tried to order uber after uber. Each one wasn't going through, eventually I had to get a lyft.

The night was short lived. Each man was only a fraction of Harry to me, they all seemed like animals on the inside and that hardly attracted me. I wanted someone kind, sweet, and caring.

I giggled and tilted my head down, resting before my lyft came.

If only I always thought the way I did when I was drunk, then I'd be able to tell Harry how I actually feel.