Effortless (h.s.)

Chapter TWENTY FIVE - Canada

I sat out on the fire escape while the sun set before me, strokes of orange and pink filled the light blue sky as the sun went away for the night and the moon came up to sit in the sky for a humble few hours. My head leaned against a cold metal bar and the contrast was calming compared to the heat of this summer LA night.

Even though I was far away from Harry at the point, I couldn't help but continue to think about him. The thought of him kissing my neck in the downstairs gym gave me shivers.

My bitten down nails grazed at the surface of the skin on my neck, the delicate skin felt normal. Like nothing had ever happened.

Sometimes when I was alone, I wondered if all of this was only in my head. It drove me so crazy that I went to that explanation multiple times. Harry was a made up person in my head that I would go to in times of stress and help.

That would not explain half of the stuff in my apartment that he bought me, his lovely apartment that I've been in multiple times, and lastly the fact he got me into the Inglewood venue for his concert. I knew it was true and happening, but at the same time I wish it wasn't.

My phone vibrated harshly in my pocket, sending my head further into the bar on accident.

I gripped the side of my skull and flinched, gasping at the throbbing pain. After letting out a few puffs of angry air I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw it was my mother calling. My stomach sank and immediately I thought about letting it ring out.

There was something telling me to answer though, so I did.

"Hello?" I whispered into the phone, my blood was pumping viciously into every square inch of my body as I awaited to hear her voice for the first time in about a month.

"Sweetheart, I need you to come home tonight," she sniffled through the phone. I could hear the pain in her words, my eyes grew and I let out an unsteady breath.

I swallowed and stuttered over my words, "I-I what? Why? You- I thought.." there was no direction in my voice, it was pathetic. I blinked back tears I didn't know I had in me.

"It's your dad, he isn't doing well. We are going to Canada tonight and you have to come with," she coughed loudly, "We aren't coming back for a while," I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared out into the now night sky. It had shifted so quickly.

My stomach dropped and I felt myself getting dizzy even though I was sitting. I pushed myself up against the brick wall and shut my eyes, breathing deeply before speaking again, "Why are we going back home?" My dad had family in Canada, that's where he spent the majority of his summers as a child. And since I was born and raised there, I knew all of my relatives.

When I left as a teenager to move to Los Angeles, I never thought I would go back.

"Pack a bag, we are leaving in..." she stopped talking for a second and whispered something to someone with her there, "Two hours, I'm sorry. You have to come for this one."

"I-It's okay," I replied emptily, my eyes stayed glued to the sky as I felt more things in my life crumbling around me. This was so much worse than Harry choosing someone else than me, that seemed childish now. I didn't think twice before hanging up the phone and ducking back into the apartment window.

I gently tossed the phone onto my unmade bed with two indentations from the two people who slept in it the previous night. My heart was numb.

My dark rooted hair flipped out of my face when I heard a knock at my door and my neck snapped to see, it was in direct line of sight from where I stood. I checked both locks from a distance and saw they were both unlocked. I waited for Harry to walk in like he would on any normal night, be to my surprise, no one entered.

I walked up to the door slowly and peered out into the peep hole, there Harry stood.

His hands were resting in one another while he stood at a shoulders distance apart, I breathed in and shut my eyes, "Not tonight," I whispered through the door.

He wore a pair of black ripped jeans and a white loose shirt, I made out a bright blue flower in his hand. My head fell onto the door and my stomach heaved before I started crying without any tears, I forced myself to look back up and see hi.

Harry's head fell slightly, acknowledging that he had heard me. Tears welled up and started to trickle down my emotionless face. I couldn't handle any more right now and I hope he would understand that.

My fingers blindly went up to the locks and I switched one after the other.

I let my eyes fall from the peep hole and moped back into my bedroom, lifting them once more to see the duffel bags stuffed on the top shelf of my closet. It was wrong having to pull them out again after so recently moving in. But I guess big things happen when you're least expecting them, I out of all people should know that.

Another slight knock sounded at my door and this time I covered my face with my hands, letting out a silent but hard cry. Maybe if I left for a while and came back things would be better. Harry would have everything sorted out and let me come work for him again without any emotions attached.

I should like Dylan, I repeated over and over again.

Dylan loved me and cared for me and he had been in my life so much longer than Harry Styles has. And Harry is famous, he would be in and out of my life within a month or so most likely.

I blinked back the tears in my eyes and finally got myself to go over to the closet and pull down some of the duffel bags, a siren started outside of my window and the noise comforted me. I was tired of silence engulfing my every movement.

I didn't bother looking at the clothing I was stuffing into my bag for a few minutes, but when I came into contact with my tour shirt that Harry once had touched and pointed out to me, I froze.

My head tilted to the side, I stayed like that for a minute. The shirt was balled up in my fist and I stared at it, I thought back to waiting in line for over an hour to buy this piece of material that symbolized the man of my dreams. Now the two of us were bickering like two little kids. Old me would be so jealous of new me, too bad new me is kind of a bitch.

I threw the shirt into the now empty drawer and shut it.

My eyes scanned the emptier bedroom now, I observed the bed again, one last time.

I couldn't bring myself to fix the bed, so instead I zipped up the duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. My eyes burned from crying and it fatigued me, so before I left I grabbed a to-go mug of coffee and I shut off the lights in my apartment.

There was no way I was going to be able to look at my apartment one last time before leaving so instead of basking in the fact I was leaving, I unlocked my door and quietly opened it, shut off the living room light and then closed the door behind me without a second glance.

I hurried down the famous blue carpeted staircase making my way back to my normal life. I hadn't been in Canada in years, it frightened me to go back. But what frightened me more was going to see my parents after our fight.

The one without Harry Styles in it.