What He Made Me

Chapter 5 - A Ghost Of The Girl I Once Was

Chapter 5 - A Ghost Of The Girl I Once Was

"My lady! You must wake up now!" A frantic voice calls out to me, I squint my eyes shut and try to go back to sleep. Sleep is easy. When I'm asleep I don't have to deal with the confusion. "My lady, you must ready for the day now." The light is turned on, and the burst of light registers through my eye lids. I sigh, and slowly open my eyes and sit up in bed.

"What? Who are you?" I ask, sleep thickening my voice. It then all comes rushing back to me. Being in a comma, thinking I was dead, waking up in this strange beautiful place with its white and gold furnishings, the frightening harsh words from Dante and the kind face of Kalon, having Riley's death confirmed, my days wasting away, the way Kalon had stolen me away from my advancing death and taken me to Dante, what we had done. I shudder at the memory of that, and then curse the confusing warm lovey-dovey feeling the memory also brings.

He's a disgusting evil monster. I realize he must have put me back in my room at some point, because now I'm indeed now back in the room I wasted away in and first awoke to. I then come back down to earth and locate the face of the voice, which had awoken me. She's pretty in a strong motherly way. Her dark hair is pulled back from her face in a tidy bun, her pale skin flawless skin marked by alluring laugh lines, which frame her kind dark eyes. She radiates control and strong will, as well as love and caring. She looks like a mother, a loving mother.

I instantly like her, but have to remind myself what her skin and eyes are a tell-tale sign off. She a monster, like the rest of them. Just like you! I sigh to myself at this fact, annoyed by my constant internal and very much unwanted thoughts. "My lady, I am your lady in waiting. I must ready you for the day now, and then take you down to your breakfast with the Prince." What? I have a lady in waiting? What the hell? She gestures for me to get out of bed, I oblige and follow her. We walk across the huge room, "With who?" I ask, confused as to who this 'Prince' is.

"The prince, my lady, Prince Dante." I sigh. Of course he's a bloody prince. What else? He's the freaking prince of the monsters. She drags me into a bath room. It's massive and made entirely of marble. I gasp at its beauty, and realize that I must be in a palace. If Danté's a prince, and he said I'm in his home, then this must be his palace. I groan, and the women ushers me into the shower. I strip of the tear stained dress and welcome the calming sensation of the water engulfing my body. I realize whilst in the shower, that I feel...better.

The numbness I had felt, whilst grieving for Riley and wasting away, had gone. Now I was left to the full agonizing pain of her death, but somehow I saw that as being better than feeling nothing at all. "Pain makes us human" My mother had once said. I'm no longer human, but feeling this pain for my sisters' death has made me feel more normal than I have since I woke from my comma to this strange world full of monsters.

Too soon, the woman returns, she urges me to get out the shower and dress in the clothes she's laid out. I do as she says. It's easy to follow orders, at least then I don't have to stop and think about what I want to do, what I should be doing, because those thoughts would just lead back to Riley. I try to steer clear of that subject, soldiering on through as she would herself.

Thinking back to how I had acted, how I had just let myself sink, embarrassed me. How could I do that? I was stronger than that. I can deal with loss, I'd done it before, and I can do it again. I know how it works. It never goes away, you never stop missing them, but in time, you learn to live around the gaping hole they've left behind. Although I am nowhere near there yet, I know I will be one day. My withdrawal from the situation I find myself in, the way I gave up on problems my life has thrown at me, is just embarrassing. I can do this. I feel the pain and know that this is all part of what I have to endure in order to accept Riley's death.