In the middle (Jesse Lingard/ Marcus Rashford fanfic)

Chapter 17

5 July 2018
Amanda's POV-
I woke up to someone pulling me closer to them, at first I was confused but then I remembered Jesse was here.
I turned around to face him and he was still asleep. I had a really bad stomach ace from all the snacks I ate last night.
"Jesse wake up" I said as a kissed the top of his nose.
He didn't say anything or open his eyes he just smiled and pulled me closer to him.
"Come on, you have training" I said as gave him a kiss on the cheek
"I'll only get up if you promise to follow me to practice, I need my girl there with him" he said putting his face in the crook of my neck.
He called me his girl, I got out of Jesses grasp and stood at the edge of me bed.
How did I let myself get so attached to Jesse and Marcus. They're both so kind and amazing, but in only 10 I'd be going back home to sweden. On the other hand Jesse and Marcus could be gone within the next 2 days. The thought of leaving them both sort of hurt.
"I'm gonna go take a shower,I'll see you later" I said looking over to Jesse from the door that lead to the bathroom.
"Wait now hold up, I could join you in the shower" he said while winking at me
"In your dreams baby boy" I said
"We do a lot more the just shower together in my dreams" he said with a smirk
"Oh really? Like what?" I asked as I walked over to the bed
"How about I show you" he said
"Alright" I said as I got on top of him straddling him.
Jesse put his hands on my hips and started traveling up and down my body.
As much I wanted to be with Jesse in every way possible I just couldn't go trough with it.
I gave Jesse a peck before getting off of him and putting my robe that was on the floor on.
"I'm sorry I need to shower, I'll see you later" I said
"Yea I'll see you later" he said as he got out of bed
I just entered my bathroom and closed the door behind me.
I didn't get in the shower until I was sure he had left. After hearing the front door close I slid down the bathroom door. I just put me head in my hands, I promised myself I wouldn't let myself get too close to these guys and here I am 2 weeks later, crying over the fact that I'll have to leave them In 10 days.
I decided to call Isaac he always knew what to do in these situations.
He told me to come to his training. I got off the floor and got into the shower. After getting out the shower I put on a pair of denim jeans, a white hoodie and my trainers. I grabbed all of the stuff I needed and put them in my backpack. The car ride to the training ground was about an hour long and I was so happy to get out of the taxi when arriving.
After finding my way around the training grounds I found Isaac and the rest of the guys, sitting on the grass resting.
"Hello boys" I said as I walked over to them
They all said hi and hello, I sat down next to Isaac, and gave him a hug.
"How are you?" He asked me
"Okay I guess" I said
"Should we go somewhere else to talk?" He asked
I nodded and we walked over to the benches and sat down, it was nice and cool since it was sort of in the shade.
"So what's going on, you sounded really upset when you called" he said
"Its about Jesse and Marcus" I said
"What have they done?" He asked
"Nothing they're both so great and I think that's the problem" I said
"What does that even mean? Can you stop speaking in code and just tell me what's going on?" He asked
"I really like them both and they're so nice and sweet, loving and caring, but I go back home in 10 days, I'll be leaving them in 10 days, I promised myself I wouldn't get involved with these guys and I wouldn't get too attached so I was guarded for a bit and then you, Stina and Pontus all just told me to let them in and I did, I've more or less fallen for these guys and I don't know what to do and I don't want to have to leave them and I feel so guilty obviously they know that getting to know both of them but It feels like Jesse thinks I'm gonna be choosing him and Marcus thinks I'm gonna be choosing him, I made it clear to them that I wasn't looking for a relationship but I feel like I've been leading them on because you don't just kiss your friends, you don't treat you friends the way I've been treating them and I just feel so extremely guilty" I said to him explaining how I felt and by the end of it I was crying.
"Okay im gonna brake this down for you Okay, you like 2 guys, you were straight up told them you're only in Russia for a month you're not looking for a relationship, but they still decided to go further with you, I'm not saying its their fault, but it ain't your fault either, I think what you need to do is tell them like yo I'm leaving in 10 days, just be honest with them and they'll both understand" he said
"But I feel so guilty Isaac I lead them on" I said
"You didn't do that, you made it clear to them in the beginning you don't have any reason to feel guilty" he said
"I can't help but feel guilty" I said as I wiped my tears away
Isaac didn't say anything but pulled me into a hug, i just hugged him back and cried into his chest.
"Just be honest and they'll understand" he said
I just nodded as I let go of him.
"So are you looking forward to Sweden vs England match?" I asked
"I'm nervous" he said
"Why?"
"I don't think we'll win" he said
"What? Why?" I asked confused
"We've got so much pressure on us and even in training we aren't preforming that well" he said
"Excuse me, you guys need to believe in yourself, no matter what happens, you've made sweden proud and I believe in you, you guys can do this" I said to him
"Thank you that means a lot" he said giving me a hug
"I should let you get back to training so you're ready to win over England in 2 days" I said as I got up from the bench.
I called a taxi and hung out with the guys while waiting for my taxi to arrive.
Isaac walked me to my taxi and gave me a big hug before getting in the taxi and leaving.
After arriving back at the hotel I went straight to my room and called stina. I asked her and Pontus to come over and they said there were out getting food but would be over shortly.
I changed into some more comfortable clothes and cleaned up the room a bit before sitting down to watch some Netflix. After about an hour stina and Pontus arrived with some food and I was starving.
"How are you" stina asked giving me a hug
"I'm fine?" I said confused
"Why did you go talk to Isaac?" Pontus asked
"Wait how do you even know about that?" I asked confused
"Honey the whole world has go their eyes on you" Stina said
"That still doesn't explain anything" I said
"There were pics of you talking to Isaac and it looked like you were crying" Stina said
"What are they saying about me now?" I asked
"That you guys were braking up or arguing but that's not the point why were you crying?" Stina asked
"It was just about Jesse and Marcus, I'll have to be leaving them soon, I let myself get too attached and Isaac advised me to be honest with them" I said
"What are you gonna be telling them?" Pontus asked
"That as much as I do like them, we all need to be realistic it's just not gonna work" I said
"Maybe don't be that harsh" Stina said
"I need to be honest with them so they understand" I said
"I hope you're not planing on telling them at the same time" Pontus said
"Of course not I'm not that stupid" I said
"Good" Stina said
"Can we eat and not talk about this" I asked looking inside the bag they had brought
4:58- 3 hours later-
We were watching a movie or more like me and stina were watching a movie,Pontus fell asleep after the first 15 minuets. I guess he wasn't a big fan of legally blonde. The movie was coming to its end when there was a knock on the door, me and Stina played a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to see who would open the door. I lost and had to get off of the couch and open the door. After opening the door I was met with Marcus who was standing there with a big smile.
"Hey" I said as I gave him a hug
"Hi is this a bad time?" He asked hugging me back
"No not at all come in" I said
"Hi, we should get going me and Pontus have some stuff to take care of" Stina said while waking Pontus up
"What?" He asked as he sat up
"Oh" He said when he saw Marcus
Without saying a word they gathered their stuff before exiting my hotel room.
"What was that all about?" Marcus asked as I lead him over to the couch
"We need to talk" I said as both sat down
"That doesn't sound good" he said
"You know that I like you right?"
"Yes" He said hesitantly
"When I first met you I didn't want to get to know as weird as that might sound, because I knew within the short few weeks we'd have together I could end up really liking you and that did end up happening, I really like you Marcus" I started off.
I knew where this was going so I couldn't help but start crying
"Okay that's nothing bad right? Why are you crying?" He asked
"I'm crying because in 10 days I'm going back to Sweden and you're going back to England, and you being here all 10 days aren't even guaranteed you could be gone within the next 3 days. I wanted to tell you as much as I'd love for this to work out we have to be realistic here" I said
"Don't cry" he said pulling me in for a hug
"Let's just make the best out of the last days we have together" he said while hugging me even tighter
I wrapped my arms around him and just nodded.
"If it makes you feel any better, I really like you too" he said
"It doesn't" I said
"I feel so guilty" I said getting out of his grasp
"I feel like I lead you on and Jesse" I said
"Why do you feel like that?"
"I don't know it's just how I feel and I can't really explain why, but I feel guilty" I said
"Well I knew you didn't want a relationship and were only here for a month so but I still wanted to get to know you and I still let myself end up liking you even tho I was fully aware that In a month you were gonna be back in Sweden and I'd be back in Manchester" he said
"How about we just make the best of our last couple of days together" I said trying to change the subject. I noticed he was getting emotional and I couldn't bare myself to witness him cry.
"Lets hang out tomorrow" he said getting off from the couch
"Okay" I said as I gave him a hug.
He hugged me back before leaving. I felt so sad and empty? I couldn't really explain how I felt, I had never felt this before. Was this how heartbreak felt?
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Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, comment what you think of it👍🏻☺️🧡