be my first || johnyong

four,

Johnny was gritting his teeth again.

It'd become a habit over the last few days, starting with the moment he seen Yuta— Yuta , of all people—with his mouth on Taeyong's throat.

In that instant, his vision had gone red.

He didn't want Yuta in the same state as Taeyong, let alone in the same place. Kissing him. Touching him. Christ.

Was Yuta who Taeyong had meant when he said he'd ask someone else?

Hell no.

Yuta didn't deserve someone like Taeyong. And Taeyong certainly didn't deserve the treatment Sicheng -his cousin- get once Yuta had gotten what he wanted.

There was way he'd let that happen to Taeyong, especially not when Taeyong was still raw and vulnerable from his recent breakup.

Absolutely no way.

Of course, he didn't really have any right to say who Taeyong could or couldn't sleep with.

He couldn't even pull the big brother card since they weren't actually related by blood, and thank God for that.

He'd been having some very unbrotherly-like thoughts ever since Taeyong had asked him to take his virginity.

And, if he was being honest, a long time before then, too.

Though, technically, there was one option that would allow him to have a say in who Taeyong was having sex with, and that was if he himself fulfilled that role.

Johnny would make it good for Taeyong.

He would make sure it was slow and gentle and pain-free, or at least as close to it as possible, since a bit of discomfort was part of it all.

But Johnny had promised himself. He'd sworn that he wouldn't.

"Okay, Johnny. Out with it."

"Huh?" Johnny glanced sideways at Sehun.

"You're acting weird," Sehun said. "The way you did when we were fifteen and you were scared to tell me you were gay."

Sehun crossed his arms over his chest and gave Johnny an appraising look.

Johnny sighed. "I wish you didn't know me so well," he muttered.

"But I do." Sehun smirked.  "So, come on. What is it?" Sehun asked, suddenly serious. "You haven't been yourself the last few days."

"You know, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Don't want to talk about it?" Sehun looked surprised, then a little hurt. "But it's me. We talk about everything."

Johnny shrugged and dropped his gaze.

He think about Taeyong. Taeyong who always made him feel like he was drowning—breathless, overpowered, chest tight.

"You've never not told me something when I asked."

Johnny glanced up at the wounded sound in Sehun's voice.

"Sehun, it's complicated, okay? I... you're going to be pissed off, and I don't want—"

"It has something to do with Taeyong, right?"

Sehun shook his head.

"Don't bother denying it. You two, neither of you can get anything past me. So, tell me. If it concerns my baby brother, I have a right to know."