café au lait {drarry}

6 - expecto patronum

h.p.

dear harry,

it's nice to hear you got a roommate you get along with. however, you never told me who it was. i am curious.

hogwarts is lovely. i'm telling you that finishing your magic education is important and quite agreeable in my opinion. however, do whatever pleases you. i understand if you want a break after everything.

sincerely,

hermione

harry tore open the second letter.

dear harry,

what do adult wizards even do? get jobs, raise children? maybe i should have listened to hermione and finished school. i miss her and i have no clue what the hell i'm doing. you were right. i'm useless without hermione.

i'm happy to hear you're doing well. who's the mystery roommate? you sure talked about the bloke a lot in your last letter. he sounds okay from what i heard. a bit stuck up but you can't have everything. i hope you don't plan to replace me as your best friend, mate.

best regards,

ron

i quickly scribbled letters to reply to both of them. the sky was dark and the lamp flickered above me. it was about time i go to bed, but i was dreading it. i feel a lump in my gut everytime i even look at my bed.

i've been laying off the dreamless sleep potions, but it hasn't been easy. i finished the letters and left them on my desk and crawled into bed.

i closed my eyes and figures danced across the darkness of my eyelids. they were dark and slow. they swirled and swirled. i was drifting off a bit. good...

the figures are getting closer and closer. suddenly, i'm feeling panicked. my heart's racing and i'm screaming WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP but my voice is trapped in my throat. the figures are close now and are swirling around me like a dark cloud. i'm cold. so, so, so, so cold. they're clawing at my throat, at my chest, at my scar. i'm trying to scream EXPECTO PATRONUM EXPECTO PATRONUM but nothing is coming out except tears.

i wish lupin was here to feed my chocolate and to tell me to focus on a happy memory.

i wish sirius were here to tell me to think and be bold.

i wish tonks were here to wink and say, "wotcher, harry,"

i wish fred were here to tell me a joke and make me laugh.

the dark figures are enveloping me. they're clawing and scratching and i feel like there's nothing left of me. one of the dementors face me, too close to my face. my heart hammers in my chest and i know what's coming.

and then i wake up panting.