café au lait {drarry}

13 - ron's advice

h.p.

i needed advice. i would go to hermione, but she's at hogwarts. should i ask ron? what if he freaks out? what if he's disgusted? but there was no one else.

i heard the door close. malfoy just left.

i made up my mind. i rung ron on the phone.

"HARRY, IS THAT YOU?" he shouted into the phone. it was a relief to hear his voice, but he almost busted my ears.

"for the last time, you don't need to shout-"

"I THOUGHT THE PHONE WAS ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES!" he shouted over me.

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!" i shouted back so he wouldn't interrupt me.

"BLOODY HELL ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED? WAS THERE AN ATTACK?"

"NO, NO, I JUST NEED YOUR ADVICE. CAN YOU COME OVER?"

"WHAT TYPE OF EMERGENCY IS NEEDING ADVICE?"

"JUST COME OVER, RON!" and i hung up, my voice feeling hoarse.

there was a loud crack and ron was in the kitchen with me. he looked around at the empty glasses and bottles on the counter and then at me. "what happened? did ginny dump you again?"

"what? no!" i said. "it's way worse, just sit down."

he sat down, bewildered. i paced in front of him frantically.

i started to talk very fast. "okay so i've made a horrible, horrible mistake while i was drunk. i may have compromised a friendship that was doing really good and made a fool of myself. but at the same time, i vaguely remembered how it went down and i don't regret it which is even worse-" i stopped to look at him. "oh, i forgot to ask you- do you want some water or something to drink?"

he shook his head. "just, uh, tell me exactly what you did,"

"i slept with my roommate, ron! we were on good terms, we were starting to be friends and i fucked it all up! literally! fucked!" i spat it out like i was ripping off a bandaid.

i looked at ron and his jaw was agape. "sorry, you what?"

"i fu-"

"you fucked your roommate, i heard! wait- isn't your roommate a-"

"a guy, yes," i said nervously.

ron's jaw dropped again. he closed it, trying to hide his surprise. "o-of course, nothing wrong with that. uhh, who's your roommate again?"

"you don't want to know,"

"well i asked, so i do want to know."

"you don't want to know, mate,"

"just tell me, harry!"

"okay i warned you!" i looked down and took a deep breath. "malfoy," i said in a small voice.

ron's jaw dropped once more and there was an uncomfortable silence. color was draining from his face.

"you're right, i didn't want to know."

i gritted my teeth, waiting for him to yell at me.

"have you gone mad?!" he said finally.

"i told you-"

"draco malfoy?!"

"he's actually a decent guy-"

"you- you did the thing with him, not to mention being his roommate?!"

"he's the only person who doesn't treat me either like an untouchable celebrity or a st. mungo's patient!" i shouted. ron's eyes were as big as saucers. i took a break to breathe. "we just got drunk and... it happened, okay? i've been meaning to tell you that he was my roommate and this wasn't how i wanted you to find out but now i'm in a crisis and i need you to be helpful, okay?"

ron swallowed his saliva. "do you... like him?"

"a little?" i said uncertainly.

he swallowed again. i could tell the gears were turning in his head, desperately trying to think of something to say that wouldn't come off as rude.

"maybe you should... tell him?"

"but i don't know if i do. what if it's just the alcohol? what if it's nothing? what if it's just another cho or another ginny?"

"you fucked ginny?" ron blurted.

"no! as in a relationship that wasn't meant to last and will just end awkwardly!"

"you're gay?"

"not helping!"

"sorry- okay- why don't you just, uh, talk to malfoy... and you guys will love each other and, uh, bone again."

i grabbed my hair in frustration. "but what if it's too soon? it's only been two months and a half since we've started 'being friends' even though it feels like years and years. i don't wanna rush and fuck it all up. again. you and hermione were friends for years before you guys started dating."

"does he make you undescribably happy?" ron asked.

i stopped pacing to think. "yes," i answered quietly.

"do you care about him so much that it hurts?"

"...yes,"

"whenever he's not around, do you miss him so much that you fantasize about the next time you see him?"

"yes,"

"then there's no doubt about it. you have a crush, you loser," ron grinned. "look, me and hermione only got together when we did because neither of us were mature during the time we were friends. neither of us knew what we wanted because we were like, twelve. you're old enough to know what you want and it's obvious."

"but what if he doesn't like me?"

"do his eyes light up when he sees you?"

"...maybe,"

"does he find excuses to be near you?"

"all the time,"

"does he show that he cares about you, even in small ways?"

"yeah,"

"then he already loves you! you two already love each other. there's no point in waiting. what's happened has already happened. don't let your feelings go to waste and let him get away," ron said firmly.

i stared at ron in surprise. "wow... that's actually good advice."

"thanks- wait, why are you so surprised?"

"no time to talk, ron, i have to find draco. wait, how do i know where he is? whatever, i gotta run! thanks, ron!"

i grabbed my coat and ran out the door.