Fire & Ice

Should I Go?

I tensed up as i looked down at our hands holding one another . i heard a snarl come from the table behind him and saw at the corner of my eye ashly crushing a juice box into a fist as she stared at me with envy. I quickly pulled away from marcus and looked down at the ground. i had so many

mixed emotions i didnt know what to do. i tried to open my mouth and say something but i didnt know what to say.. even if i did i dont even think i would be able to say it.

I could feel marcus's burning stare on the top of my head and ashly's evil glare. by the second i could feel myself getting smaller and smaller. i wanted to run away and just die. Whenever im around marcus i feel safe , warm, and happy. But it seems there is always something there to show me that we could never be together. that i could never be happy. Hell i dont even know if hes against me being gay or not. i mean he could just be playing nice right? He could just be playing the nice act to keep a good reputation for himself. that is important now isnt it? i just sighed and bowed my head to him as if to say goodbye and grabbed my bag to leave.

" Ja.." i heard marcus begin to call. i stopped and turned to see marcus stepping towards me but ashly pushed herself in front of him and smashed their lips together. I felt a sudden pain in my chest and my eyes began to sting. i cant show them it bothers me .. i cant s-show them i.. before i could even swallow my pain tears began to strain down my cheeks. when ashly finally broke the kiss she turned to me satisfied with my reaction and flipped her hair over her shoulder. what the hell did i do to her? all through middle school, high school shes been on my ass. shes makes me feel like an idiot. this is the second time iv cried in front of him. im such an idiot. i couldnt bring myself to look at marcus so i just turned away whipping tears continuously as they seemed to fall more and more the farther i got.

" jack! wait a sec hold on!" i heard marcus call but i continued to walk off the campus. i could care less about the rest of my classes i can come back later and pick up my assignments. My stomach was turning like a cement mixer and my heart felt like cement itself. i was confused , i was sad, angry, you name it. i already knew that i couldnt be with him so why? why was he always so nice to me? why did he pretend to care? why... why did it hurt so much? I stopped at the stop light whipping away the remaining tears.

This isnt the first time hes done something like this so i dont know why it still hurts. The cars passed by one by one honking at the people in front trying to cross the street. The tears finally stopped but my stomach didnt. i gripped my bag tightly and let out another shaky sigh. i looked down into my scarf and saw it was filled with frozen tears and white crystals. i took it off and shook it out getting rid of the evidence and rapped it back around my neck. The light finally turned signaling that it was my turn to walk. before i could take a step into the street i felt warm arms embrace me from behind and a head buried into my neck.

My eyes grew wide at the sudden impact. i looked towards the head and noticed the blood red hair. " m.. marcus?" Why was he here? I could feel my eyes stinging again as images of what hes done to me in the past flashed through my mind. i shut my eyes tightly and dropped my head so he couldnt see me cry again. Im so useless.. weak.. no wonder everyone picks on me. why im always the source of their entertainment. i make it so easy for them. my body began to shake uncontrollably. The red head removed his face from my neck to look at me.

I blinked a few times in confusion. To my surprise instead of blood read eyes meeting mine i saw bright green flashing at me filled with worry. Thats not marcus. I sighed with relief and my body began to relax. Once taking a good look at him he wasnt to bad looking. His bangs fell over his left eye, covering a small scar and his green eyes looked like green headlights just beaming in "YOUR FACE LIKE DAMN LOOK AT ME!! MMMMMMM! alright im done..."