Flaws Of An African Girl (COMPLETED/UNEDITED)

CHAPTER 4

Today being the first day of my WAEC, I am so nervous. I feel like am going to throw up any minute from now. I did a lot of reading but on coming to school, I feel like there is a topic I haven’t read. Everybody is talking about different formulas and topics and I can’t even contribute to their discussion.

“Hey, what are thinking about?” Someone says behind me.
I immediately recognize the voice.

“Kosi”, I turn with a smile forgetting my nervousness.
“That’s my name”, he says with a chuckle.

That just added to my new found happiness, “so how is your first day of WAEC going, are you nervous? I am so nervous.”

“Why should I be nervous? I know that I have read. I am just going to go in there and try my best and leave the rest to God”

“I love how you are so calm with life, it’s admirable”

That brought a fit of laughter out of him, “Thanks, I believe that you should move with the flow of life. If you are always stressed about what you should do, you will probably die of hypertension one day but when you show life that you are the boss of it, it will dance to your rhythm”

With a small smile, I say, “Wow! Now that got to me, I never pictured you as someone that loves quotes”

“I like to surprise people…come on, let’s us go for a walk, maybe it will calm your nerves” 

I stand up from my seat and we start walking to the field. When we reach there, we sit down on one of the benches.

“So what are we going to do now that we are down here?” He asks.

I look at him like he had grown three heads, “Are you crazy, you brought me down here and now you are asking me what we should do? And here I was thinking you have an amazing plan on what we are going to do to calm my nerves”

“No offense but my plan was just to take you for a walk. You were the one that suggested that we should go to the field.” He says, his eyes shining with humor.

If looks could kill, he would be probably dead from the glare I was giving him. I breathe out a sigh, “Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know”

“Ok…I have a twin sister, I love computers and music, I am seventeen, I enjoy going for a lot of adventures and I am very social…I think that’s all for now…what about you?” Kosi says.

“You have a twin sister?”

“Yes”

“Where is she?” “She lives with my mum in California. My dad and my mom are divorced so I stay with my dad while she stays with my mom” He says.

“Wow”

He chuckles, “My family is complicated, right? ... Let’s forget about my family drama and talk about you. Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know”

“Ok…hmm, I don’t think there is anything special about me, I am just a small girl in a big world”, I say.

“And that’s how she spoilt the fun we had going on…but come on, have you heard of the saying that everyone is special in their own way? I believe in that saying so much because if we are not special, how have we been surviving?…you might not know but there might be a depressed person that chose not to commit suicide because you smiled at them, there might be people that continued struggling for the right thing because of how strong you are. There is nothing as bad as doubting yourself, it kills your mind and soul and leaves your body feeling empty. People care about you at least that should count at being special”, His lips curls to a very sad smile like he understands my life just by looking in my eye.

Do people actually care about me?  I don’t think so though, Kosi seems like he does but I have only known him for barely a week, he will probably change like the rest of them. Most times, when people talk about those that care for them, the first thing that pops into their mind is their family but in my case it is totally different. My parents and my siblings don’t treat me like family; they never give me the opportunity to be close to them. My parents are not approachable; they never give me listening ears. I can’t even share my problems with them. I hardly even talk to them apart from the normal conversations and greetings.

They are so strict that all they do is give rules and tell you how much of a waste you are when you make small mistakes. They tell you how to eat, what to do and even how to act, it’s so frustrating. My mom is the worst. She is so bossy, controlling and judgmental. My dad is more of the quiet type but too strict. They don’t allow me to act my age, they don’t allow me bring friends and never let me go visit them in their houses. I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything with my mates.

All I do is go to school and church, eat, do all the chores at home and sleep. I never had a childhood because of them and now they are bent on ruining my teenage hood too. In my home, the children don’t have a say. We do everything they want us to do without questioning. All my parents do is ignore me and pretend I am not part of the family

I completely forgot that I was in the middle of a conversation till Kosi started tapping on my shoulders.

“Yeah”

“I have been calling you for almost minute now. You completely zoned out. What are you thinking about?”

“Just forget, it’s nothing”, I reply.

“Are you sure something is not bothering you? You were completely out of it”

“I said am alright. Let’s just go”, I snap at him.

His expression changes from that of concern to hurt and rejection before he recollects himself and stands up. I suddenly feel guilty for snapping at him, he was just showing concern. He doesn’t know that I am not used to people caring about me.

“Hey, I didn’t mean what I said. I am not just in the mood”, I apologize while looking at my foot.

He raises my chin with his hand till I am looking in his eye, “It’s alright but if you ever feel like talking about it, I am always here for you. Come on, let’s go back inside”, he says cautiously like I am going to explode.

I don’t move from my position and continue staring at him while smiling brightly like a child on Christmas day.

“Is there something on my face?” he asks while using his hands to feel his face. That just makes me to start laughing.
I shrug.

“So now, you are laughing at my confusion. I will surely get you back for this”, he says with a big grin on his face.

“You know you are awesome, right?”

I didn’t know it was possible for his grin to widen till it did, “I try”

I snort, “That huge ego of yours should better not grow”

I don’t know what this guy is planning, I don’t know why he cares about me so much but I know I like this feeling. If this is what being cared for feels like, then I don’t want to miss out anymore. I am scared that he is going to realize that he is making a big mistake and see me for the loser that I am and run away but I am going to seize this opportunity for as long as it lasts because I am slowly getting addicted to this feeling.
He holds my hand and we start walking to our exam hall. Could I be any happier?