Sincerely, The Run Away

M i t c h e l l

Dear Mitch,

I never wanted it to end the way it did. I'm so sorry I'm such an asshole. To be honest, I think I really loved you, but my brain always got in the way of what my heart wanted. Whenever you would tell me how much you wanted to be with me, or how amazing I was, or anything along those lines, my throat would close and panic would set in. Practically, I'd have an almost panic attack because I was afraid today's truths would become tomorrow's lies. I didn't want to be hurt, and I didn't want to ever betray you, so I left you for no one. I am so sorry if I broke your heart. I thought that maybe if I left you sooner over later then I wouldn't hurt you as much, and everything would be okay. I know, I know. My logic was terribly flawed. I realize that now. Especially after I tormented myself for months after that night. I didn't want to lose you, just as much as you didn't want to lose me, but I did it anyways. I haven't forgiven myself, and I don't think I ever will.

If I saw you now, I would leave Christopher in an instant. He is an amazing guy, but he just isn't you. He isn't the guy that stayed up until two every morning because he saw that smile. That smile that stretched over the hidden pain in my heart. He isn't the guy who saved me from an absolutely terrible date by running into the restaurant, picking me up bridal style, and running away. He isn't the guy who saved my broken heart. That was you Adam. The one you saved me just before everything was shattered again was you. And I threw it away, thinking I could find someone new that didn't know I had the power to unintentionally hurt them with good intentions.

I didn't know they would ruin everything before I had a chance to fix everything. I wanted to fix everything. I realized you were the one, but then my chances were stripped away. Now I'll never see you again, and not spending the last moments I had with you, in the most selfish of ways, is all my fault.

If there was anything I could do to change what they did, I would do it in a heart beat, just so I could see you again. Even if you hate me, it'd be worth the world to see your soft face.

Please mind all the tear stains. You know you're the only person to see me cry.

I loved you, and I always will love you. Even if I'm with Christopher for the rest of my life, my heart will always belong to you.

Sincerely,

The Run Away

P.s. Please don't forget me. I know I'll never forget you.