Feels like Home

2. I Think We're Alone Now

Although Luca's family moved next door to us when I was five, I don't remember a time when I didn't know him. Our moms were best friends, and Luca, his brother, Beau, and I seemed to be together more than we weren't as kids.

I loved it. I had three older siblings, but the youngest was ten years older than me. Because of the age difference, I was never very close to any of them. My mom always called me her "biggest surprise" in life. I liked the thought of that, like God thought my parents needed one more person to complete the family, and there I was.

Luca's dad took off right before they moved next door, saying family life "just wasn't for me". When my mom heard this, she suggested her friend move into the recently vacant house, and she would help with the boys. We entered each other's houses without knocking and always knew we could stay for dinner whenever we wanted. I considered Luca and Beau my pretend-brothers. I was never lonely with them next door.

The summer I turned twelve, I had my best friend, Heather, at my house for a sleepover. I knew Luca would stay away because he never really liked Heather. He could never explain what it was about her that threw him off. It was mind boggling to me because Luca seemed to like everyone.

We were sitting on my porch, when Luca and Joe, another neighbor, rode by on their bikes. "Hey! Why don't you come over here? We're bored!" Heather screamed. I secretly cringed as I pictured Luca sighing with annoyance before turning around to head towards us. Although he didn't like Heather, he still would never be rude to her.

As the boys dropped off their bikes in my front yard and headed up the porch stairs, Heather announced, "We're going to play truth or dare." My head snapped to her. We had not talked about this, and I did not want to play. Luca looked at me and rolled his eyes.

Heather was my best friend, but she became a different person when we were around boys. Even at our young age, it always seemed like she was in a competition to see who could get the most attention. She always did, because I didn't care. I knew she liked Joe, so I was sure this was her way of making her move.

Joe just shrugged and lifted himself up onto the porch railing. He seems thrilled, Heather.

"Okay. I'll go first," Heather began scanning our faces like she didn't already know what she was going to do. "Shelley, truth or dare."

I knew it. She was going to dare me to do something stupid so then I could dare her to kiss Joe. This was her classic play. My dare was usually something like eating a cup of plain ketchup or prank calling a restaurant, harmless stuff. But as soon as I said "Dare", I saw the mischievous look in her eyes. Oh no, she's going rogue.

"I dare you to kiss..." please say Joe, please say Joe, "Luca."

My immediate reaction was to scream, "Ew! No!" But then I looked over at my lifelong friend and saw something I'd never seen before, he looked embarrassed. He was looking everywhere but at me and fiddling with his shirt. Luca had never been anything to me other than my friend, even in my mind. That day, I saw him as a—surprisingly cute—boy.

"Okay," I said after a few seconds and Luca slowly raised his head toward me. "But I'm not doing it in front of you guys. We'll go around the corner."

"Ooohhh...you want privacy." Heather said, giggling. Joe started quietly laughing too.

"That's fine. But you better do it! I'll know if your lying," she relented.

Without looking at each other, Luca and I began walking off the porch and to the side of my house. When we were out of sight, Luca whispered, "We don't have to. We'll just tell her we did."

"No, you know I'm a terrible liar. It'll just be better if we do it and get it over with, or else she'll never stop teasing me."

With that, we each took a small step closer to each other. How am I going to do this? This is Luca. I'll just close my eyes and pretend he's Justin Timberlake. But as we inched even closer, Luca whispered, "Have you ever done this before?"

"No" I said, just as quietly.

"Me neither." And our lips met. I was surprised by the tingling feeling that engulfed my entire body. This is what kissing is like? This is wonderful. I need to do this more often.

It was over quickly, and we just looked at each other, our faces still inches apart. I had to fight the urge to kiss him again.

"Let's go back," he said, no longer whispering. Okay...I guess it didn't have quite the same effect on him.

But as we turned he corner, we saw Joe and Heather kissing on my porch steps. We both looked at each other, started laughing and went back around the corner to try to compose ourselves.

After a few minutes, we settled down and Luca grabbed my hand. This was a habit,  his way of telling me that he had something serious to say. "Thank you," he said, "I know you didn't want to do that. Joe would have never stopped giving me shit if you had said no.

I squeezed his hand. "I'm glad I did."

When Heather asked about the kiss later that night, I told her we chickened out. I wanted to keep it all to myself.