Feels like Home

22. Promiscuous Girl

Sitting around a large booth with a group of people I don't know is oddly freeing. I love the anonymity of it. I've never met any of them before--with the exception of Leslie--and therefore I have nothing to live up to.

It's been a month since my last conversation with Luca in his mom's kitchen, when I found out about Kirsten. I called Leslie that night, sobbing into the phone, and she immediately rushed over.

I just couldn't believe I had done it again, I had let someone in who betrayed me. The difference in this situation is that I wasn't the one being cheated on--I was Heather in this scenario--and that somehow made it worse. Luca also knew about my past, and still chose to lie to me.

After the dust had settled, I recalled how uncomfortable he seemed when I tried to kiss him at first. He had tried to push me away, but I just kept coming, not really seeing what was going on. I felt like an idiot.

He tried to call, and text, a lot. After the fifth day, I messaged him saying that I would really appreciate it if he gave me space and did not try to contact me again. It was over. I'm sure he's now back in Chicago with Kirsten. I wouldn't know, he honored my wishes and has left me alone.

I know his mom is back, she keeps asking me to come for dinner. Of course I can't tell her the truth, so I just came up with different excuses. I feel bad, but I know it would just be too painful to go back to that house so soon.

Leslie has been doing her best to keep me busy and keep my mind off of what happened. At times it has even worked. Right now, for instance, I'm not sad. The music in the club is loud and pumping, and it's hard to even think, let alone be distraught over anything. I'm encircled by a group of Leslie's friends from college, feeling just the right amount of buzzed and laughing with Michael, the lawyer from St. Louis, who is sitting next to me. It's been a good evening that I'm glad I was convinced to attend.

Michael unexpectedly places his hand on my leg under the table. I'm so shocked that my head snaps up to him. He laughs and talks into my ear so I can hear him over the music, "Sorry, I was trying to be sly."

I laugh too and place my hand on top of his. Michael is cute. When he smiles, his entire face lights up. He has a dark complexion, which unfortunately reminds me of Jason, but he also has two of the most perfectly placed dimples I've ever seen, which makes me want to lick his face.

I haven't hooked up with anyone since Luca despite constantly hearing Leslie's mantra, "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." But Michael may be a definite possibility.

After our third round of drinks, I excuse myself to use the restroom. In order to avoid winding my way through the dance floor, I decide to use the restrooms on the other side of the club. I could also use a break from the bass pounding into my head. A lot of people don't know about these bathrooms, so it's usually pretty quiet.

I get to the end of the hall empty hallway and enter the ladies' room. I was right, there is no one here. I quickly use the facilities and exit. It's dark, but I think I see Michael walking down the hall towards me. My heartbeat quickens, going on alert. I'm not sure what he is planning, but he says with a smile, "Leslie told me about the secret bathrooms. You should see the line at the other ones! It's worse than the girls!"

He's shaking his head as he exits the hallway. I decide to wait for him. I really do enjoy his company. He seems so sweet and genuine, but I guess I thought the same thing about Jason...and Luca. Surely there are guys out there that are not secret assholes, though, right? Or maybe he could just be one night stand. I've never had one before, maybe I should try it.

As Michael re-enters the hallway, I grab his shirt and pull him to me. I kiss him, and I can tell he is surprised because it takes him a second or two to kiss me back. He gently pushes me against the wall behind me.

I'm wearing a skirt tonight and his hand starts slowly rubbing my outer thigh. I raise my leg up and wrap it around his hip, pulling him closer to me. I'm liking this...I think I'm liking this...I want to like this...I'm not feeling this. Or him. As much as I try to dissuade it, my body wants someone else. Damn him!

I begin slowing down our kissing and lower my leg. "Maybe we should get back," I whisper, giving him my doe eyes and smiling. I don't want him to think he did anything wrong. He nods and beings walking back to our table, holding my hand. He is such a gentleman. I'm having a hard time finding anything wrong with him except one thing...he is not Luca.