Feels like Home

23. Against All Odds

Although I still feel uncomfortable, I couldn't put off meeting with Nancy any longer. I had tried to convince her to meet at a restaurant like we normally do, but she wouldn't hear of it. She was oddly persistent that I come over.

I let myself in, and Buster immediately jumps on me. "He must have missed me. It's been so long since I've seen him," I lie. I'm truly awful at lying. Nancy giggles and walks up to me. She pulls me into a bear hug and lingers for a moment.

"I missed you, Shelley."

"I missed you, too" And it's true. I hate to think that my mistake with Luca would ruin my relationship with Nancy, but it has already. I normally would have met with her the day she came back from vacation, but she's been home for two months now.

She turns and walks back to the kitchen, resuming her vegetable chopping. "Supper is almost ready. Why don't you have a seat?"

She continues talking as I sit down and rest my feet on an adjacent chair. "So have you been seeing anyone?"

For a brief second, I contemplate telling her about Luca, but dismiss the thought. "There is this guy from St. Louis, Michael, who I've been talking to." I shrug. I had given Michael my number that night at the club. I was hoping that with prolonged interaction, I may come to feel for him something similar to my feelings for Luca. But it's been a month now, and no luck so far.

Nancy simply nods before changing the subject. "Did you hear I have a new neighbor?"

"No I didn't. Which house?"

"Yours."

"Are you serious? I didn't even know it was for sale!" I had been waiting for my old house to go on the market for years. The owner hasn't lived there in forever but hasn't wanted to sell it. I think he had hoped he'd be able to live there in retirement or something.

"I don't think it was ever officially on the market. Apparently, someone approached Dave and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse." I slump in my seat, defeated.

Nancy sees my melancholy and tries to cheer me up. "I have an idea. Why don't we go over there right now and say hi? I think I saw someone moving boxes in earlier today. Maybe seeing the inside again will cheer you up."

I didn't see how that was possible but thought it wouldn't hurt either. "Sure."

The weather is beginning to warm, the first sign of spring, so we don't bother grabbing our jackets before stepping outside. We are half way to the neighbor's when Nancy stops suddenly. "Oh shoot! My lasagna is almost done. I should go back and wait for it. You go on ahead." She quickly turns around and is almost sprinting back to the house. She must really be worried about supper.

I'm at a spot on the sidewalk where the new neighbor would be able to see me from the windows, so I thought it might look odd if we both turn around and go back. I decide I might as well introduce myself. If I'm ever going to put in an offer on this house, it would be good if I was friendly with the current owner.

When I reach the front door I see that it is actually open slightly, like someone just didn't pull it closed completely. When I knock, it opens even further. I can see a shimmer of light and become curious. I slowly begin to push the door open and see the living room is filled with candles--everywhere. They are on the floor, on the shelves, on the television stand; there must be hundreds of candles. My first cynical thought is that the fire alarm is about to go off when I notice that they are all flameless--smart.

Then I notice the spot where Luca and I kissed on the couch--before we had sex the first time--when we were sixteen. There are at least a dozen red roses--my favorite flower--decorated in a perfect arrangement. From there, I see a trail of rose petals leading down the hallway. I'm finally figuring out what's happening here and dread runs through my body.

I follow the rose petal path up the stairs and see it leads to my old bedroom. I turn into the doorway and see Luca standing in the middle of the room. His hands are in his pockets, and he keeps shifting his weight, like he doesn't know how he should be standing. He looks adorable and nervous, and I am...pissed.

"What the hell, Luca? What is this? Do you actually own this house?" He nods, and I continue, "So what? You buy my house, fill it with candles and flowers and expect all to be forgiven?" My voice is shaking, and I know I'm about to cry.

"Luca, you knew about Jason, and Heather, and you still lied to me! You knew what you did would destroy me, and you didn't care. You did it anyway!" Tears are rolling down my face, and I can see that Luca sees them. He raises his arms like he wants to hug me, but I give him a look that lets him know to stay back.

"Shell, I can't tell you how sorry I am because words would never be able to fully explain the depth of my regret. I didn't tell you about her because I didn't want to risk losing you. I know it was selfish and inconsiderate. Kirsten and I were over in every way but in name. I didn't want to have the conversation with her over the phone, so I decided I would do it when I returned home." I'm listening but still not ready to stand any closer to him.

"Okay. When I was in prison, I had a lot of time to think. I thought back at my life and realized the worst mistake I ever made was not telling you I loved you in high school. I just let you go. I now have made an even bigger mistake, but I'm not going to just let you go this time. I will work for you to forgive me every day for the rest of my life, or until you tell me otherwise. Don't worry. If you tell me to stop, I will go, but...I love you, Shelley. I've loved you my entire life." Now he is crying.

I can't fight my body any longer and run to him, pulling him into me. "Luca, I love you too. I've never stopped, no matter how much I tried." He places his hands on my face and pulls me in for a gentle kiss, our tears intermingling.

I whisper against his mouth. "Don't think this means all is forgiven. This means I'm willing to try."

He smiles and says, "I'll take whatever you want to give me."