Feels like Home

9. Jealous

The next day at lunch, Jason grabbed my hand as we were leaving the cafeteria, intertwining our fingers. I couldn't hide my smile. I liked him so much, and he wasn't ashamed to be seen with me.

As I began looking around to see if anyone was witnessing this, Heather gave me a discreet thumbs up, and I smiled back. I had called her last night after Jason had left.

"Oh my God, you bitch!" She had said, laughing. "That's fucking awesome! Now we can double date." She was going to prom with Jason's friend, Theo. He had apparently asked her during a post-coital session last week.

As soon as looked away from Heather, I locked eyes with Luca, and my smile dropped. He was sitting along the wall, waiting for the herd of students to pass. His forehead was creased while he looked at Jason and me. He has no reason to be upset, I told myself, he does this kind of stuff all the time. I looked away with my chin up.

I knew the hard part was going to be tonight.
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I entered Luca's room and he pounced on me, crushing his mouth into mine, slamming me into the wall and trying to lower my pants. Normally, this would turn me on, but we needed to talk.

I didn't know what Luca was going to say. I wanted to tell him about Jason and find out his feelings toward me. I felt guilty about what he saw at school today.

The truth was, I didn't know what I wanted. Jason had had my heart for so long, and if he would have approached me a month ago, there would be no question. Now, Luca had my body...and part of my heart. I had to know if he felt the same way.

When I broke his kiss, he groaned, "Oh my God, I have been thinking about you all daaay," and pushed his arousal against me. This is going to be even more difficult than I thought.

"Luca, we need to talk."

He started kissing my neck, "Why?"

"Because I know you saw me tod—" he stopped me with another kiss. He's purposely avoiding this conversation.

"Luca, stop!" I pushed him off me. He stood in the middle of his bedroom, wiping saliva off his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Okay! God! What do you need to talk about? I didn't think you were interested in talking these days," he snapped.

"Wow, really? That's a low blow, and you know it." He didn't say anything, just stared at me with a scowl on his face.

"I want to talk to you about Jason."

"Let me guess, he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you said yes, and now you're going to live happily ever after." He rolled his eyes and swept his arms around the room like he was describing a grand picture.

"No, actually." I paused. "He asked me to prom."

Luca scoffed and rolled his eyes again. "Of course he fucking did. Well, have a great time."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what? You know, actually, you're right. Why should I give a shit? You were great for a good lay, but not much else."

His words stung, like he knew they would. "But--"

"But what? You're over it. I get it. Everyone eventually gets tired of me and leaves. It was about time." Like his dad.

"No, Luca, that's not it. I came here to talk about you and me." I'm shaking my head, desperate to get him to listen to me. I grab his arm, and he yanks it out of my grasp.

"There is no you and me. Now please, get the fuck out of my room."

Those words did the trick. My eyes started to fill with tears. I had to get out of there. I opened his door and looked back at him one more time, willing him to stop me. But he wasn't looking at me. Instead, he pulled out a joint from the front pocket of his pants and started feeling around for a lighter.

I guess there was nothing more to say.

This chapter was hard to write! It hurts my heart to see Luca like this.

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