So What

18

I woke up with a major headache. I was laying on his chest. His steady heart beat was nice. My headache was killing me. I got up trying not to wake him. I wandered into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water. I sipped the water rubbing my temples I tried to get rid of the headache.

I got back on the couch. Surprisingly he hadn't woken up.
"mm baby are you ok" he said groggily rubbing his eyes he sat up, patting the couch next to him.
No point lying.
"I have a bad headache" I mumbled in a small voice. I sat next to him getting under the covers.

"go back to sleep, it'll make you feel better" he said. He looked sad probably cos he didn't like seeing me like this.

"mmm" I mumbled curling up my head on his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair. I loved it when people did that. Maybe it was just the physical affection. I soon fell asleep. The warm of his body comforting.

He moved his legs
"am I cutting the circulation off in your legs?" I said sitting up

"sorry did I wake u"

"no I have been awake a while"

"do you want anything?"

"water please"

He got up. The warmth on my leg fading away. Slowly. I shivered. Remembering how I felt the same way when he left last time. I looked over at him with sad eyes. He caught my eyes for a second, I broke the eye contact.

I couldn't do it.

He came back with the water. I flinched when he touched my leg

He noticed but didn't say anything.

My headache now a dull throb in the back of my mind. I just wish I had a normal life

I was hurting. All I wanted was to cut again. I ran my fingers down my arm over the scar that I was left with. This kid probably won't leave so I should go up to my bathroom and do it. I'll pretend I'm changing.

I got up from the couch. I got into the bathroom. Shutting and locking the door I slid down the back of it. silent tears sliding down my face. I found the razor I had hidden for emergencies. I pushed down and slid it across my wrist feeling the relief. The blood dripping onto the tiles. I quickly cleaned it up before it stained. I stopped it bleeding. I quickly changed into a warm jumper and yoga pants. Wiping my face, trying to get my red puffy eyes to settle down. I opened the door. Taking a deep breath in.

"all I want is for you to be happy. And for that to happen you have to leave. And I have to leave we must go opposite directions and you can't ever see me again, Ive hurt you, you r hurt me and I can't keep doing this with you." I stated as I walked back into the lunge room.

" but gabby"