your pov
the driver door to the car next to me opens and i feel tears in my eyes.
"hey" the familiar voice pierces through the silence.
i'm speechless. i have no words. i can't move. i can feel my body tense up, but i can't move anything.
he comes towards me, closing his car door behind him.
"thank you for coming" he tells me.
i see his face in the light of my cars headlights.
he's gotten taller. i have to crane my neck more to see him.
his under eyes have gotten darker. his blue eyes have gotten sadder.
"you probably want answers." he speaks.
"you know you can talk, right? i'm going to need you to be able to talk for me to give you answers." he looks deeply at me.
"i'm sorry. let's talk." i snap out of my trance. he opens the passenger side of his car for me to sit. i take the keys out of my own car and take a seat in his. he comes around to the driver side and sits down.
the car is so familiar. nostalgic almost. it's like i'm reliving the times i would come here when we would fight and he would come get me.
we sit in silence for a moment, trying to get used to the feeling of being around each other again.
i break the silence.
"why." i say, more like a statement than a question.
he doesn't respond for a while. he seems to be figuring out where to start.
"i couldn't stay." he starts. "it was all too much. i felt so pressured all the time to do everything right. to look right, to act right, everything. i wanted to be away from it. i wanted to be who i wanted to be."
"why didn't you tell me?" i look him in the eyes as i ask.
"i don't know." he shakes his head.
"did you not love me?" i quietly question.
"that's the problem. i loved you so much. i loved you too much. it was so hard to leave you, but i had to. i've never felt for anyone else what i feel for you." he sighs. "so i left. i thought that i could figure out what all these emotions meant, but i couldn't. because i still love you so much. i love you more than i've ever loved anything. and i don't know how to deal with it." he admits.
"colby, you've put me through hell. i've had nights where i don't sleep because i all i want is you to be there next to me. i've had days where i don't eat because food had no taste to me without you there. do you know how many times i've had to wake up jake at 4 in the morning because he's the only person who will be there for me anymore?" i look to him.
"are you and jake- a thing?" he stutters out.
"no." i quickly reply. "you're all i ever think about. i cant even look at another boy without wishing it was you."
"oh." he quietly murmurs. "did you tell anyone we were meeting here?"
"i told jake about the texts. i haven't told him that it's actually you." i respond.
"don't." he quickly tells me. "i'm not ready yet."
"where did you go?"
"north carolina. my family went on a vacation there once. i remember being so happy there, so i thought it would make me happy again."
