mess - bang chan

06

"hey, torri, are you okay? you look.. tense and anxious." chan said as he sat beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"w-what? no, i'm f-fine." i tried not to stutter, but i obviously failed.

"what's wrong?"

"hm? nothing, nothing." i said, playing with the hem of my loose gray shirt.

"tell me if there's something wrong, okay? changbin and minho are the only people we need and they'll be here soon." chan said as he wrapped his arms around me.

my eyes widened, my heart skipped a beat and i could feel something weird in my stomach. also my cheeks were heating up. i just bit my lower lip when hyunjin passed by and wiggled his eyebrows as he gave me a teasing smile.

suddenly, we heard a car horn. they're here. he's here. minho's here.

"excuse me, chan, where's the comfort room? i just need to fix something." i whispered to chan as he stood up.

"oh sure, it's that way. take your time." he pointed at a door and i thanked him as i walked fastly to the comfort room.

when i got in the comfort room, i took a deep breath and took out my phone. i needed to call jihyun. after a few rings, she finally picked up.

"torri? you called? what's wrong?"

"jihyun, i'm at chan's house."

"okay and?"

"he's here. they're friends. no wonder why chan and his other friends looked familiar."

"oh my god-"

"i'm trying not to be anxious but chan noticed it and, and.. i just don't know." i burried my face on the palm of my hands.

"hey, just chill. it's been just a few days and i know that the both of you haven't moved on yet. just calm down, okay?"

"okay. thanks for answering the call." i said before hanging up, then someone knocked on the door.

i opened the door, expecting to see chan, but when i looked up, my eyes met his. i stopped moving and so did my breathing. i didn't know what to do, whether i should slap him in the face or talk to him as if nothing happened.

"torri." he said my name.

"m-minho, i-"

"hey, are you two okay right over there? it's time to eat." chan called when he saw the both of us frozen.

"coming!" i yelled back at chan and just passed by him.

ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ

i thought that i was going to stay at chan's place just for lunch, but they decided to have dinner here too and i felt bad if i wouldn't stay for dinner.

it looked like chan prepared lunch with much effort and same thing goes with dinner. i didn't want to hurt his feelings, especially because the both of us got so close in a short matter of time.

chan was alone in the kitchen, making chicken soup, since he told the rest of us to enjoy our time and just sing with the karaoke. but i couldn't focus on the fun when minho was around.

i admit i would glance at him sometimes, but i always caught him staring at me, and it makes me feel an unexplainable feeling.

"hey, chan, how's it going?" i asked him as i entered the kitchen, hoping minho didn't follow.

"tor, why are you here? shouldn't you be with them, having fun?" he asked me while stirring the pot of soup.

i leaned on the tabletop and sighed. "i know i should but i just can't."

"what? why? are the boys making you uncomfortable?" he asked, looking so worried, but i immediately shook my head.

"no, no, they're lots of fun honestly. but i have to tell you something, and please, don't tell the others yet."

"what is it?"

"m-minho-"

"what about him?"

"he's, um, my e-ex.. ex-boyfriend."

he stopped stirring for a few seconds. i just looked down and rubbed the back of my neck.

"is that why you felt shy?"

"yeah, i don't know how to face him. also, i didn't know that the both of you are friends. the both of us met the day after minho and i broke up."

he turned off the stove, closed the pot, placed the ladle down and sat in front of me. but my head still looked down.

"so you're princess t?"

"y-yeah." i stutter as i let out a bitter chuckle.

"hm, so what are you planning to do? you should talk to him if you want to. i'm pretty sure he still loves you." chan said, his voice getting lower and lower by each word.

"i don't know. i was pretty hurt after he told me that we're done. i mean, i admit i went to a bar with jihyun and got drunk and fainted because of it. i feel dumb and stupid for doing it though. i felt like my feelings were being played with, as if i am a toy that you can throw away if you don't want to play with it anymore." i said, my voice cracking in the end as my eyes start to water and tears attempting to fall.

"tor, the both of you are through now like you said. you have better things waiting for you in the future. you need to focus on the future, okay? so i think it's better if you talk to him right now and tell him that the both of will just have to stay back as friends."

"but, chan, i'm afraid i might hurt him."

"i'm pretty sure he'll understand."

"no, it's not that. it's just.."

"just what?"

"i'm scared that i might ruin your friendship." i said, looking down at my toes as i bit my lower lip.

"w-why?"

"isn't it obvious, chan? i know you aren't that dense. chan, i like you."

chan shot his head up and he stopped playing with his fingers. "t-torri, i.. i like you too."