This Is A Commentary Quotes

The Family Reunion

N.B~ The first part of this is from Tre Melvin's youtube video Log Off.

Previously on ThisIsACommentary:

Father: Your Babysitter Watermelondrea, the one you love so much.

Kid: That bitch.

Father: She's in the ICU.

Kid: *gasp* Is that so?

Father: Yeah I guess she was uhh, leaving her boyfriend's house around eleven sumtin' last night.They got into a big argument . . .

Kid: *Straight Face*

Father: And uhh she was scrolling down Twitter, not paying any type of attention to the road.

Kid: *Straight Face*

Father: It was a head on collision.

*******

Watermelondrea: Thanks for coming to keep me company y'all.

Grandma: Yeah bitch, fuck you.

Mom: Yo dumbass had us worried sick.

Grandma: What the hell have I told you about texting and driving. How many times we done talked about this.

Watermelondrea: I know Grandmaw, I know.

Grandma: Don't you Grandmaw me.

Watermelondrea: What da' hell else am I supposed to call you?

Mom: Don't you raise yo voice at your grandmother.

Watermelondrea: Pero que carajos estaba hablando con puta? (But who the fuck was talking to you, hoe?)

Grandma: What the fuck.

Mom: Since when does bitch speak Taco Bell?

Watermelondrea: Es español. (It's Spanish) My nurse was freash off da' boat from Puerto Rico.

Grandma: Fuck dat bitch. I was six, five, four, three and two mad when she wouldn't let the family see you and then had the nerve to have that stank ass attitude. See, it's heifers like her that underestimate lil' old ladies like me, bitch I will slice yo ass up. *pulls knife out of wig*

Kiwiontae: Damn Grandmaw, you keep a knife in yo wig?

Grandma: It ain't a wig. It's a way of life. And hell yeah, you never know when you might have ta' cut a bitch in the name of Jesus.

Kiwiontae: Dang, you a real ass MVP for a old bitch.

Grandma: Oh. Nigga I'm Forever 21.

Kiwiontae: Ha, 21 times 21.

Mom: Kiwionte, shut the fuck up.

Grandma: Nuh uh, baby girl let the little nigga speak his mind. I'm sure he didnt get to do much of that in prison like his daddy.

Kiwiontae: Excuse me?

Grandma: Tell me, Lil' Kiwi. That's what they call you in the streets right? How many times did you drop the soap?

Kiwiontae: Bitch, fuck you.

Grandma: You stupid as hell!

Kiwiontae: *continues smoking and waves her off*

Grandma: Out there slingin' drugs and for what? Lost three years of yo life and jeopardized the rest of yo motherfucking future over crack cocaine!

GrapeAngelaShandra: *claps ratchetly* Why is y'all arguing? We ain't seen each otha' since last Thanksgiving.

Mom: Um, get correct GrapeAngelaShandra. We, ain't seen each otha' since last Thanksgiving. We ain't seen you since that night yo dumbass drank all dat' Hennessy.

GrapeAngelaShandra: *does something ratchet with hands* Let's-not-even-go-there. All I'm saying is can we just enjoy each otha's company, please.

La' Strawberrae: GrapeAngelaShandra right doe'. We fam' we aint supposed to be fussin'.

Mom: Who the fuck are you?

La' Strawberrae: La' Strawberrae

Mom: Oh, that is ratchet.

La' Strawberrae: But bitch you named me doe'.

Mom: For real?! When?

La' Strawberrae: When you pushed me out yo pussy.

Mom: Oh, you one of my daughters. My bad Le Strawberreish.

La' Strawberrae: It's La'Strawberrae.

Mom: Le Strawberrynequia. Dear you got cable?

La' Strawberrae: *stupse*

Watermelondrea: Mmhm, but it may not be workin' right now. It messin' up at night sometimes 'cause I . . . boot leg it from da' neighbour.

Mom: Ain't yo neighbour a cop?

Watermelondrea: Uhh . . . yeah.

Mom: *straight face* . . . . . . okay.

GrapeAngelaShandra: Girl, what if you get caught?

Watermelondrea: I'm not gonna get caught.

Kiwiontae: Aight' don't be callin' us when yo dumbass get arrested.

Watermelondrea: Oh certainly, we ain't talkin' bout calling from jail because if I do remember preciseley. You hit my line first when yo dumbass got booked for selling crack.

Kiwiontae: For real? You gonna go there.

Watermelondrea: What kind of dumb breed of nigga attempts to sell crack to a police officer?

Kiwiontae: Shit, he asked me if I had some.

Watermelondrea: *long pause* So you said yes?

Kiwiontae: Hey, I'd about to be locked up than in an ICU for being on fucking Twitter while I'm driving.

Watermelondrea: And I'd rather be in ICU than taking dick from Bobo in a prison cell.

Kiwiontae: At least Bobo had a big ass dick. So the jokes on you! Ha.

Watermelondrea, GrapeAngelaShandra, Grandma, La' Strawberrae: *Da' fuck Face*

Watermelondrea: Wait what?

Kiwiontae: Wait what?

Watermelondrea: *scratches weave*

Mom: *Da' fuck Face*

Watermelondrea: *sips tea*

Mom: *still making da' fuck face*

Watermelondrea: This tea good as shit.

Mom: This nigga gay.

~Rebel & Bree 😵💥🔫