Sweet Obsession

Chapter 8 Part 12

I saw something in his eyes that I never noticed before. I saw the love he was feeling for me. It was written all over his handsome face. My heart went out to him. I knew firsthand what it felt like when the person you love rejects you, how it could tear you up inside. I felt pity for him. I did not know what to say. I stayed quiet and listened to Billal pour his heart out.

“Your prince can never make you happy. He is a selfish man. He wants you all to himself. That’s not love. That’s obsession! He is obsessed with you. Tell me, Loula. What kind of a life will that be for you? You will be miserable with a man like that!” He tried to convince me that he was right.

He did not know that he was wasting his time with all that he said. I could never stop loving Nidal. No matter what, he was and always would be the man I would love until the day I died. I could never be with another. But somehow I knew that, even if I told this to Billal, he would not listen to me. In a way, he was like Nidal. Once he made up his mind, there was no changing it.

I knew he would not give up trying to win my heart. He was a good man, but my heart belonged to Nidal. I suddenly missed Nidal. Pain tugged at my heart. I wanted Nidal to return home. I placed my face in my hands and sobbed. I cried my heart out.

Billal took me in his arms and stroked my hair. “Loula, I hate seeing you like this. You are crying for the wrong man! Nidal does not deserve you! He says he loves you, yet he slept in Shaeena’s bed!” he spat. “Nidal wants it all! Why do you allow him to treat you so? He goes from your bed to hers! He does not deserve you!” He tried to prove his point. “He does not believe you. He accuses you of sleeping around on him, yet he is the one who is a whore! He is not worthy of your love!” Billal said angrily.

It was true, all of it. I desperately wanted to run away somewhere where I did not have to hear the truth. It hurt to acknowledge everything that Billal said, and to admit that he was right would mean that I would have to admit that Nidal did not love me. It was easier for me to believe otherwise. A pounding headache was forming inside my head.

Billal realized he had gone too far and immediately apologized. “I’m so sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. Please forgive me,” he said sincerely as he reached out and pulled me in his arms.

I allowed him to hold me close to him. I needed a hug desperately. I needed it like the fish needed the water.

We walked back to the palace quietly, each in our own thoughts. The sun had set, and the torches were lit and lightened up the pathway to the palace. It was a beautiful, peaceful night. When we reached the stairs that led to the doorway, Billal took my hand to help me up the stairs. We said our goodnights, and I went to my room and closed the door. The tears came rolling down. I undressed, washed up, slipped into my nightgown, and crawled into bed. The tears still had not stopped. I cried myself to sleep. It wasn’t the first time, and somehow I knew it would not be the last time either.

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