Sweet Obsession

Chapter 8 Part 11

The next few days were quiet, thoughtful ones. I took my meals in the privacy of my quarters. Not able to eat much, I just nibbled on enough to keep me alive. I had lost my appetite the day Nidal rode off.

Billal came to my room a few times, and I was astounded to see that he was left behind. Isn’t he going to help his country win the war? Is he a coward? What is he doing here?

“My lady,” he said as I opened the door for him to enter.

He bowed and walked inside. I saw the servants down the hall scramble away, like a pack of rats. Great, I thought. Now they will gossip about my new lover.

“My lady, how have you been faring?” He was smiling from ear to ear. “You look well.” He pulled his chair next to mine and sat in it.

I looked at him in silence, trying to figure him out, and finally, I blurted out, “Why are you here, Billal? Why are you not joining the rest of them to fight for your country?” I asked with disapproval in my voice.

Billal looked at me. He did not understand what I was asking. Clearly, he was measuring my words and took his time responding. “My lady, I was left behind to wait until the king was ready. My men and I will escort him to the waiting place. That might take a day or two.” He waited now for my response. “I was hoping to visit with you until it is time to leave,” he said with hope in his voice.

Well, that answered my question. I wish it had been Nidal who was left behind instead. Billal noticed my disappointment and tried to comfort me. “I know I’m not Nidal, but I hope you will allow me to entertain you until I leave.” He looked at me for approval. His eyes were wide and glowing.

I sighed once again. “I don’t mind if you visit. It’s just that I will not be good company for you,” I said softly.

Billal just looked at me for a few minutes. “Loula, first I would like to ask for your forgiveness for my most recent behavior,” he begged. “Second, I know you love Nidal and not me. I would like to at least be your friend, your confidante. Please, Loula. Say you will forgive me and allow me your friendship,” he begged desperately.

I considered what he had to offer, and I knew he was sincere. Based upon that conclusion, I accepted his apology and his friendship. And for the next couple of days, Prince Billal came and visited me, and we talked as friends do. He made me laugh. I had no time to feel sorry for myself.

We took strolls in the rose gardens, we went riding to the village and admired the shops, and we even walked all the way to the willow tree where Nidal and I had made love. Billal saw the names that Nidal had carved on the bark of the tree and stood silently for a few minutes just staring down at the green grass. His hands were in his pockets, and he was in deep thought.

When he looked at me, he smiled bitterly. “I envy Nidal. He has everything I want.” He sighed and kicked a pebble, watching it roll away. I kind of felt sorry for him. Billal continued sadly, “I was always jealous of the fact that Nidal is the crown prince, next in line for the throne. Growing up, he was always better than I was. He ran faster than me, and he fought better than me. He even beat me at chess, each and every time,” he said dryly. “I wanted to be him. He was handsomer, and all the ladies of the court preferred him over me! But I never hated him. I loved him. We were always best of friends. We were raised together as brothers,” he admitted, “but all that changed the moment I saw you. It was like love at first sight. I fell deeply in love with you, Loula. I don’t care anymore about anything else. All I want and need is your love.” He looked at me as he said this, making me feel a little uncomfortable.

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