The Ocean Wanted A Kiss

Chapter one:

I open my eyes at a leisurely pace, thinking of what's awaiting me. The thoughts started running through my head quite fast. I don't know what death looks like, I don't know what I will see when I open my eyes. I don't know whether I'll see my drown body in the seabed or my body floating lightly on the surface of the water, swaying with every movement. I don't know what I'll see when I raise my hand, will I have a hand? I mean I may be a ghost right now. Am I flying like a bird? Can I feel anything? Can I hold things? Do I look normal? Is the pain gone now? Have I finally found peace? I didn't know what death looked like but the thing I'm sure about is that I finally escaped.

But when I opened my eyes...

"You woke up." A near unfamiliar raspy voice comes from my right and when I looked around me, it took me minutes till the surroundings fill my chest.

I should be dead by now.

You're in a hospital, bitch. Look around you.

The hospital room is a concrete pen with a window, the size of a biscuit tin lid. It has a stagnant smell like it's cleanded with plain water instead of disinfectant. The bed sits low to the ground, the frame baring the signs of rust and the mattress worryingly thin. I bit my lip.

I'm breathing. I'm alive.

"Hey, look at me. You're alive, don't worry." The blond guy I don't know stands up from his chair and gets nearer to me, the worry is all printed on his face.

"Who are you?" I ask calmly.

"You were drowning and I saved you." He says with a passionate smile on his face.

So I am alive. And breathing. After a suicide attempt. You gotta be kidding me. Just tell me it's a quick dream before I die already. Tell me I'm dreaming.

Dead people don't dream, idiot.

Oh fuck. I'm cursed.

"Why?"

Anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I know it's too much for me to handle. I'm sure my face is already as red as a tomato from anger. My jaw clenches.

"Why what?" He asks as a puzzeled expression quickly planted on his face.

"Why the fuck did you save me? Why didn't you let me drown to death? Why didn't you let me die? You literally ruined everything when I was finally resting in peace." I shout at the top of my lungs and I bet my veins are going to explode. I want to punch this fucking face of his. My hand is bleeding from clenching my fists too hard.

My mind just can't take it. Why would this happen to me? What's the very bad thing I did in my life to pay for now?

"What the hell? You wanted to kill yourself?" He asks shocked. I can already see the shock in his face turning into sympathy. "Why? Why would you do this to yourself?" I can feel the tears rolling down my face as I rest my head back. I put my hands on either sides of my face, trying to take the scattered misery of my life.

"I didn't wanna kill myself. I wanted to make it all stop and go away. I wanted to be calm."

I cry as if my brain is being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flows out of my every pore. From my mouth comes a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around us are suddenly wet with tears. From my eyes comes a thicker flow of tears. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything is just gone. I pause trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside me but I can't. A more lone tear traces down my cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened again. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. My chin trembles as if I am a small child. I breathe heavier than I ever had before. I am gasping for air that simply isn't there. My throat burns forming a silent scream.