Saving her (Colby Fan fiction) DISCONTINUED

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Bella's P.O.V.
I woke up to the sound of thunder, I whimpered as I stood up putting some shorts on. There was some lightning and then some loud thunder, I hummed to stop myself from screaming. I hate thunder and I didn't want to wake Colby up because he would think it's stupid. I walked to Jakes room and saw he was still up, he noticed me and looked worried. "What's up?" He asked, then more thunder. I yelled and jumped next to Jake. He laughed as I clutched his arm. "You don't like thunder?" He asks, I shake my head. "I fucking hate it, it's terrifying, and-and-" he cut me off by hugging me. "Why didn't you wake Colby up?" He asks me, I give him a 'duh' face. "First of all, Colby is a deep sleeper,"  I look at Jake and he just nods. "Second of all, he's gonna think I'm stupid. I mean seriously, I'm afraid of thunder Jake. Thunder!" I say as there's more lightning and thunder outside. I close my eyes and cover my ears, the thunder was a lot louder this time. Jake got up but I didn't say anything, I figured he was going to the bathroom or something. I heard the door close and I looked up and saw Colby. I pulled my knees to my chest and silently cried because the thunder kept getting louder, then the power went out. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck," I whispered. I felt the bed dip next to me, "Why didn't you wake me up?" I realized it was Colby. I just shook my head as the thunder kept getting louder. There was a loud crash of thunder that shook the entire house causing me to whimper in fear. I could hear Colby saying something but I was too scared to understand what he was saying. Suddenly he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I still had my arms around my knees as I put my head on his chest and cried. "C-c-Colby, there's something I should have told you awhile ago." I say quietly as he rocks us back and forth. He just hugs me tighter and kisses my head. "Will you be m-mad?" I ask quietly, he shakes his head and I nod. "I tried to kill myself two times and I still think about doing it sometimes. " I say quickly putting my head back down. I hear Colby sniffle and it breaks my heart to think that he's crying about me. "Is that why you do this?" He asks gently grabbing my arm. I just nod cuddling into his chest, he holds onto me as if I might slip from his grasp. More thunder, I whimpered again and started crying. "Hey baby, it's okay. It's okay," Colby whispered into my ear as he stood up, he carried me bridal style to his room and laid me down. He sat down next to me but I pulled him down with my and buried my head into his shoulder as I put my arms around his neck. "B, please tell me if you ever feel like doing anything bad. Anything that could hurt you, I love you." Colby quickly realized what he said and changed the subject. "So u-u-um why don't you like th-thunder?" He says quietly, I look up at him and sigh. "When there was really loud thunder outside I tried to kill myself. It was like this both times, I used to cut when it was storming too but I just did it whenever since the weather doesn't change according to my mood." I say as I unravel myself. I wrap my arms around his neck and move so I'm laying on top of him. I wish I had the guts to do it, goddammit I can't even kill myself without failing. I'm such a fuck up. I hate myself. I hate my laugh, my voice, my hair, my body, my stomach, just everything. Fuck. The thing is- "Baby, hey, look at me," Colby says pulling me out of my thoughts. I look up at him and smile, he looks worried. "Are you okay?" He asks, I look at him confused. "You were saying some things that scared me. I don't wanna lose you." He says, I tilt my head sideways and he pulls me closer to his body if that's even possible and kisses my cheek. "You missed." I tell him. "I won't miss next time if you tell me what you were just thinking about." He says in a serious tone. I look at him then look down messing with my hands. "Bella. You can't keep hiding everything." I just continue to mess with my fingers. "Bella." He says. He keeps repeating my name until he slams his hand onto the table next to his bed and yelling "Dammit Bella answer me!" I sit up and stare at him. "Don't yell at me," I say quietly in a warning tone. "Then tell me what's wrong!" He says yelling back. "I said don't fucking yell!" I say standing up and walking out of the room. I don't care that it's still dark and I'm absolutely terrified of thunder. I silently but quickly walk down the stairs and go into the bar room. I remember Aaron telling me he hid in the cabinet in that part of the house, they were playing hide and seek. I walked over and opened the cabinet sliding in and closing the door making sure to keep it quiet. I noticed I had enough room to stretch my legs out and found some clean hand towels to use as a pillow. I heard Colby and Sam arguing. "Dude what happened?" I heard Sam say walking towards the living room. "She was saying 'I hate it I hate that I can't do it, why can't I do it' and she just kept repeating it. I-I didn't know what to do cause she wouldn't answer me. Fuck, where did she go? She wasn't with any of the other roommates and she terrified of thunder. Where could she have gone?" Colby asks walking around the first floor. I close my eyes and try to go to sleep, my phone is upstairs and I think the power came back on so they'll find me. "Bella!" I hear Aaron yell. Fuck. Next thing I know all the roommates are running around the house yelling my name. I make sure to stay as quiet as possible, I hear someone walk over to where I am. I hold my breath as the door slowly opens. I look up to see Corey and just shake my head. I put my head in my hands and he yells "I found her!" I hear everyone run over to where I am and then sighs of relief. "Bella come on," I hear Colby say. "B, get out of there." He says louder this time. I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch turning my body away from the the cabinet door. "Dammit Bella come on and stop acting like a five year old!" Colby shouts. I don't move, not even to flip him off. I feel two hands on my arm trying to pull me out but I twist away from them. I reach out and grab the door pulling it shut. I hear someone kick it, I'm assuming Colby and then people yelling. "And you wonder why she was hiding in the first place?! God Colby you're so stupid sometimes!" Aaron yells. I was surprised, I'd never heard Aaron yell except for when he's playing fortnite. This is bad.

(A/N) the next chapter is gonna be a huge trigger warning, I'll put it in the beginning of that chapter too but I do tend to write my feelings and I'm very angry and sad and confused. Anyway, see you in the next chapter.