All Aboard

Part Nine

Mikaela

Somebody, please, say something so I know that what just happened wasn't all in my head, thought Mikaela.

'Jesus, Mikaela,' whispered Dan. Mikaela looked at him, anticipating something, maybe his disgust or an invitation to take part in a threesome. 'Way to burst out of the closet.'

Dan bumped her with his shoulder, and smiled. Mikaela looked at the others, who were all (unsurprisingly) staring back at her. Nav was nodding at her like she was doing a presentation and stammering on her every word, his tight smile willing her to find her voice and be strong. Chloe looked her up and down as if her footwear or hairstyle might have given some clue about her sexuality. She glanced at Kimberly who had turned around in her seat for once, but as their eyes met, Kimberly's quickly shot away.

Mikaela took a deep breath, then looked at Barney. He was staring through Mikaela, his stupid little brain trying to connect the dots of what they'd done and what she'd just said.

'Barney?' said Mikaela. He snapped back to the bus, his eyes refocusing on her. 'You can sit down now.'

Mikaela watched with satisfaction as Barney blinked, then nodded and turned back to where he'd been sitting and dutifully plonked himself onto the seat. The sound of the bell ding-a-ling-a-ling-ing shattered Mikaela's newfound sense of calm and she turned to Lazlo, ready to chastise him, but the look on his face knocked the bravado out of her.

'Mikaela?' said Lazlo, his voice the softest Mikaela had heard it for the entire journey. 'You're up.'

She stared at the bell like she could undo the noise it had just made.

'Me?' she asked. Lazlo nodded. 'No...I...I...me?'

Lazlo nodded. 'Remember you don't have to go alone.'

Mikaela looked at Dan, confusion rippling over her forehead. 'No....I...I'm not ready, Lazlo.'

'I think you are, my darling girl.' His hand curled around hers and he gently pulled her up from her seat.

Dan's voice was quiet and close to her ear. 'Sure you don't want me to come with you?'

If Mikaela was about to meet who she thought (hoped, prayed) there was no chance she would be sharing her with anyone, not even Dan.

'No, hun, thank you, but I want to go alone. Be here when I'm back?' she said.

Dan nodded, and sat down. 'Of course.'

Still holding onto Lazlo's hand (so tight that she was turning his hand blue but there was no chance he was going to tell her to let go) Mikaela felt like she was on one of those rope bridges as she walked to the front of the bus, her feet unsteady and unsure of where she was stepping. When she got to the door she let go of Lazlo's hand and turned to the rest of her bus mates, even Barney. She could tell by their faces that they'd guessed who she was expecting at her stop.

Lazlo nodded, and the door opened for Mikaela.

***

The sky was a watercolour or pinks and reds, and silky clouds swirled overhead. If heaven had an Instagram account, this would be its profile picture. It was the same sky that had hung above Mikaela the day she'd left the hospice with her dad and brother. She'd thought how cruel God was to make the world look so beautiful when all of the beauty had been smudged out of it just thirty minutes before.