All Aboard

Part Fifteen

Mikaela

Nobody said a word, and nobody looked at each other, choosing to stare out of the window or look at their hands instead. Only Barney kept looking at each of them, surveying the damage that he'd just done. Kimberly had silently turned to the front of the bus, adopting the same position she'd been in before Mikaela and Dan had coaxed her round in her seat.

Mikaela took a deep breath and wiped her hands down her hot cheeks. Her makeup was long gone but she didn't give a shit what she looked like. She jumped at the sound of her own voice.

'That was you?' she said.

Mikaela's mind had apparently shuffled this particular memory up with other shameful ones and filed them away in a drawer, but her mind plucked it out again and Mikaela's heart broke as the memory took on colour, sound, and life. She recalled the childish giddiness she had felt as she ran off the stage on her tiptoes, leaving poor Kimberly there all on her own to become a total laughing stock.

'Kimberly?' Mikaela whispered.

Kimberly didn't move, but Mikaela could imagine the look on her face, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to push the memory away.

'Kimberly, I.....I....' Mikaela stammered, knowing that whichever words she chose, they wouldn't be enough.

Mikaela wished she could say that she knew what she did was wrong, but she didn't remember thinking that. She did remember laughing at Kimberly as they watched her dance through most of the first verse before she realised what they'd done, before she ran off the stage and down the steps.

Mikaela hoped that she'd felt sorry for her then, but she really couldn't remember.

Mikaela's mum had gone ballistic when the school told her what happened. She grounded Mikaela and made her write a letter of apology (Mikaela had pushed for a message on Facebook but her mum insisted taking the time to write a letter would show Kimberly that she was genuinely apologetic) and lectured her about the way she treated people.

'You were one of the girls who did that to Kimberly?' Dan asked, interrupting Mikaela's guilty train of thought.

Mikaela closed her eyes and turned to look at Dan. She opened her mouth but couldn't think what to say. He shook his head, then looked her up and down, his face a beacon of disappointment.

'I didn't know you were...that you were...' his voice trailed off as he searched for the right words.

'Such a bitch?' Barney offered. 'See, you all think I'm this massive asshole but you've all done things you're ashamed of. The only difference between me and you lot is that I don't hide who I am or what I think of people. What you did was calculated, Mikaela. I'd never have the time or patience to do anything like that.'

'Wow, you're a saint,' said Dan.

'Whatever,' spat Barney. 'At least I don't pretend to be someone I'm not.'

Barney's words rang around Mikaela's head, knowing that, for once, Barney was right about her. She lifted her hand and gently touched Kimberly's hunched shoulder, feeling her jerk underneath her fingers.

'I'm so sorry, Kimberly. I really am,' she whispered.

'If you were really sorry, you would never have done it in the first place.'

Kimberly said the words so quietly that Mikaela wasn't sure that anyone else heard them.

But maybe they were just meant for her.