Saving Mr Jones

Chapter 9- the urge to apologize

I really am a bitch sometimes. I didn't realize that he has been carrying that kind of burden around with him for three years. But how how I have known? It's not like he has it written all over his head. But that didn't get rid of my guilt and the sudden need to apologize. Its not like I was rude to him directly about yesterday, but I thought it in my mind. I wanted a thank you for a little things that I did yesterday, now not so much. Three good years! Wow! He must really feel guilty. It is not his fault though. I mean yes, they shouldn't have been arguing while he drove; but he didn't have the accident on purpose. I find myself putting the blame on the woman, she was the one that cheated on him with his friend! Having just gone through similar experience, I know how it feels. He must have felt used and betrayed. But how can you cheat on someone like him, I thought. He was the definition of beautiful, but I know not to judge a book by its cover, maybe he did something that pushed are to cheating. But still! It's HIM.

The need to apologize was still fresh in my mind as the day went on, so I decided not to leave at five, but to wait for him to get back. The opening of the door woke me up, I looked at the time, it was half six. I stood up, yawning.

"Issa" I shivered as he said the nickname he invented for me. "What are you still doing here?"

"Well, I wanted to-" I got interrupted by an annoying, but familiar voice. It was the bitch from yesterday, what was her name again.....Amanda, yes that's her name. When she saw me and her face flashed with recognition, she put her arm around Kevin's and raised her eyebrow, as if daring me to do or say something. When I saw her hand on Kevin, I felt my heart pull, was this...... jealousy? No it couldn't be, I mean I don't even like him, I couldn't. He's my boss, so I pushed whatever I was feeling and tried to continue; because she was here, I didn't want to continue with my apology. "I stayed to see if you was alright, you know, cause of last night" I half lied.

"Yeah," he cleaned his throat. "I'm fine now"

"Cool" I said, standing there and nodding my head like a mad girl. I saw Amanda give me a dirty look, so I decided to leave. "Well, I'd see you tomorrow" I rushed out, without waiting for a reply.

I didn't like what I was feeling. I am not jealous, I kept telling myself as I drove to my driveway. If Kevin was so hung up on his ex fiancee's death, then how come he his with Amanda? Or maybe they were not together and I just misinterpreted the situation. Why do I even care? Because you are attracted to him, shut up brain. I am not attracted to my boss, I refuse to be.

Sasha told me the reason she went so early to work. The company that she worked for just had a new owner. "He is so hot! The way he says my name just makes me melt. Damn that boy can get it anytime" she told me, but I wasn't fully listening. My mind was still stuck on Kevin. Ever since I met him, he has always invaded my thoughts. I was jealous of seeing Amanda with me but that wasn't something that I would admit openly. "Trevor Jones, even his name sound so sexy" she continued "Hey! Are you even listening? Bel, Bel!" I snapped out of my daydream.

"Yes I am" I replied, trying to sound convincing.

"No, you weren't, you looked far away. So tell me what's up with you?"

"Nothing much its just....." she waited for me to continue. "Well its my boss. You know I told you about his awful mood yesterday and him coming drunk at night" Sash nodded her head. "Apparently, it was his ex fiancee's death anniversary. She cheated on him with his friend and when he was confronting her about it in the car, they had an accident. Which she died from and he blames himself" It wasn't the full reason my mind was so far away, but I didn't want to tell her about the other reason because I wasn't so sure about it either.

"Wow! That's not something you should carry around with you, it's not exactly his fault, I mean she cheated and he was just confronting her just like anyone would do. Its a shame they had an accident due to it"

"That's what I said! But that doesn't stop him from feeling guilty"

"I can understand why he would blame himself" she put a arm on my shoulder "But don't let other people's burdens become your own OK. You know what? We haven't been to the club together in ages, how about we go tomorrow?"

"No, tomorrow is Friday and I have work, when I come back I would probably be too tired to go. How about on Saturday, I only have to be at work till 11am"

"Yes that would be good, I think the reason why I'm attracted to my new boss is because I haven't done it in a while. So maybe I could find somebody to help me release my stress"

"Ewww, there's such thing as too much information"