Safe and Sound - Hunger Games AU

The Planning Stages - 3

The train journey was tedious when John wasn't around. The few nights I had experienced so far were full of nightmares, horrible ways that John could inevitably die. The dreams I had were not of my own death or pain, but of John's. I was terrified, distraught at the thought of John's inevitable end, be it in the arena or as an old man in his bed. When I woke up screaming and thrashing about in the over-luxurious bed, John would be beside me with a sympathetic expression. He would always be so accepting, so helpful. His hand on my shoulder as I woke with a jolt was the one thing that stabilised me, keeping me anchored to reality. The easy reality of being on the train, not what was to follow. John didn't speak much when Sarah, Sally or Effie were around. But when he was with me he kept his voice soft, reassuring me that I would live. But I always tried to argue, I did not wish to live in a world lacking the John Watson I knew and had grown to love. I didn't wish to live in the Victor's Village without him by my side. Of course I never told him this, and instead just opted for a simple, “You'll live too,”. I feared the worst. I was convinced he would never love me back if I told him all the details of my feelings for him. If he turned me away, I would have nothing left to live for and follow Sarah's plan of jumping off the podium. It would be an easier way to go. I'd rather not watch him across the arena, the hatred in his eyes for his freak of a friend that couldn't handle being friends and had to have more. It was true. I was comfortable with John's friend, but that didn't stop me from aching to wrap my arms around him and kiss him to ease his worry.

Another night was over, causing me to wake up and snap my eyes open. They would focus and see the train in full detail before noticing John sat on the edge of the bed. “I heard you screaming again. Are you alright?” he whispered, looking over at me with the traces of tears down his cheeks. I nodded slightly and crossed my legs, bringing the blanket over myself to stop my shivering, which I soon learned was nothing to do with the cold. The train sped past countless fields and hedges before coming to a standstill at the station of one of the largest, most brightly lit areas I had ever seen in my life. Power plants and pylons littered the landscape, each giving off enough light and smoke to blind and choke a nation. The words running on the wall of the tunnel stated “District 5 – Supplying Panem with all the electricity and machinery needed for a brighter future” I read this aloud with an expression of pure distaste. The people I saw looked sunken, skinny and overworked. The work seemed primarily focused on factories and power plants, making the people victims of low pay and relentless, harsh and unforgiving work conditions. Men and women were scarred from machine parts and the man that greeted Effie as she stepped off the train wore overalls and carried a large scar running from his left eyebrow to the top of his collar bone. The accident he had been in seemed to have taken his eye from him too. I watched as two other tributes made their way onto the train behind ours and set off. They were still sad and teary-eyed from the the reaping.

As the train began to move again John came over and sat beside me, taking my wrist to check my pulse, which was rapid from the nightmare I had just had. “What happened in this one?” he asked, his voice soft and understanding. I took a deep breath and began to explain the events of my nightmare. How John had volunteered for me instead and I had to sit back in my living room and watch him be taken from me. How the district two tributes had ripped him limb from limb with weapons made by their own hands. I told him how I had to remain strong while he was shipped back to thirteen in a body bag and disposed of. Nobody got a proper funeral unless they had enough money to organise one. John was just burned. By this point I was in a state close to hysterics, sobbing into my hands with my knees pulled up to my chest so there would be less of me for John to be disappointed with. I was supposed to be strong so I could be there for John. How was I supposed to keep him alive if I couldn't even stand to be alive myself? But John understood, like he always did. He understood and handed me tissues and rubbed my back until I calmed down, which was something I needed more than anything. I needed him to be alright with me, because if he thought I was pathetic, he wouldn't want to see me. He wouldn't want my help.

“I think we should split up when we get into the arena. That way if I get hurt, you won't have to watch.” John said after a while. The pause before he spoke was horrible, but the silence afterwards was deafening. Like he had just sliced me in two and left. It was agony. “No, John... You can't do that. I-... I need this. I can't do it alone. I need to protect you.” I was pleading, begging him to stay with me. I needed him there with me. If he wasn't, I'd be killed in the initial bloodbath. With nothing to protect, I had no purpose. “Okay... Okay...” John whispered, running a gentle hand through my hair. The sensation was calming, easy to take in. “I won't suggest that again, it was stupid. But we do have to run. We can't get caught up in the bloodbath. We can get what we need later on. We'll run and meet up later on in the games, yeah?” he offered, and I knew it was my only choice. I nodded hesitantly and blinked away a tear that was threatening to fall.

John got up and walked back to his bedroom, leaving me with the thought of having to get off that podium after the timer reached zero and leave John without a second glance. It could be days before I found him again. I'd have no indication of his health except from that cannon that would show me if he met his end. If John's cannon sounded, mine would a few minutes later. That was a silent vow. If John died, I died too.

//AN: I'm sorry for the short chapter, but I'm trying to get it finished before I leave the country. I will update soon, either tonight or tomorrow. Again, thanks for reaching this point, and I hope to have you on board for the rest of it <3//