The Giving.

Chapter 4

  I had no where else to go. I am certainly not going back in there. If I go in there, my dignity and my pride will be crushed. I still can't get Dr. Howard's expression off of my mind when I was letting my anger out at him. I wish I can take it back, but it's too late. Maybe I should go back to apologize and say its an early April Fools day. Why would it be an early April Fools day in the middle of September?

  What if I get fired? On the first day? Oh my god, what the hell did I just put myself into?

  I turn my heels to the front of the hospital. My hands tremble as they pull the front door and my feet drag me along the tiled floor. I bit my lip and try to keep it together. First, I need a plan to go over what I am going to do. I sit down on one of the couches in the waiting lounge to go over my thoughts.

  My mind washes through all of these worries whenever I try to make a plan. Should I just go and tell him that I'm sorry about everything and beg? If I do, he might tell me to get out of there and find another job. Or should I buy him a coffee and plead for forgiveness? Then, again he might splash the coffee all over my face for walking and yelling at him.

  Or should I just kiss him in complete surprise and tell him to forget everything.... I shake my head in that thought. Why would I even think of kissing him?  I don't even like him. I don't even want my first kiss to be even be with him.

  My legs began to shake, up and down. I rest my head on my hands while my elbow rests on my knee. What should I do? I don't want to dissappoint my father. My so-called planning is interupted by my pager.

  I take out my pager and read," Stairs. 3rd floor. Howard." Howard. My eyes widen as soon as I read the last word. I quickly shove my pager into my pocket and head to the stairs.

  I skip between the stairs by 2 each and reach the 3rd floor as fast as I can. When I look up, I saw Dr. Howard at least 6 steps up from me.

  I gulp and slowed down my pace up the stairs.

  Without my permission, my mouth opens.

  " Ok, I know why you called me, but let me say something first. You can yell and scream all you want at me and I am really, really sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you like that, but I couldn't help myself. All my life, I have always been the one to be yelled at for doing something wrong even though I didn't do it. So, I am really sorry. I shouldn't have pulled my anger towards you, but if you give me one more chance I promise, you will never regret it and I will never do it again. Can we just start over please?" I pant as I reach to the last sentence.

  I lock my eyes into his, hoping for a chance that my life is depending on.

  He sighs and speaks,"Fine, but only one condition."

  " What's that?" I sigh in relief.

  He steps closer."You have to be my side every second of the day in order for me to trust you. If you get paged from someone else, you must tell me who it is and I will either give you the permission to go or not. Look, I am really good at my job and I don't want to lose it by not doing what I'm supposed to do, so I guess both of our lives depend on this. If one of us sinks down, we both go down. I guess we have to be in this together. Deal?"

  " But-"

  " Deal?" He commands for an answer.

  " Deal." I say as I nod my head. The way he said kind of made me feel special. Is it even right for me to feel this way? I don't care because I am enjoying this moment right now.

  "Let's go." He demands.

  " Yes, sir." I look down and follow him. He leads to the door, but pauses as his hand is on the doorknob. My head slightly bumps behind his back. I tilt my head up.

  " Oh, and this is a secret. No one can know about this. Especially, the interns. Ok? And keep your head up, it drives me nuts to not see your face. " He speaks as if I even have a choice.

  What's wrong with keeping my head down? It's not like it's against the rules or anything. I follow him into the group of interns.

  He clears his throat and say," Everyone, great job today. Some of you," I look away," I'm going to have to go to a meeting soon, so stay at the locker room until a resident comes to assign you. "

  They all began to walk towards the locker room. As I walk, Lindy comes up to me and links her arm to mine.

  " You are so lucky, girl. You got one of the hottest residents with a couple of boy interns. Looks like it's your lucky day. The interns are so the boy toys, but the residents are the real dolls." She grows an evil smile on her face as I giggle. She turns around.

  " I mean look at that gorgeous hair! If I was a hair stylist, I would want to cut his hair everyday. Ya know?" I turn around and spot him tying his hair into a ponytail. He does have a gorgeous hair I admit. He spots me looking at him and I quickly turn around and walk into the locker room.

  I open my locker and reach for a snack. Maybe it's time for me to get in shape, so that I won't be tired while I'm walking around the hospital all day.

  Instead of a granola bar, I reach for my green apple. I hate red apples. I don't know why. I take a bite and lay down on the bench in front of my locker. Lindy sits down across from me and looks sideway as if she's about to spill something.

  " Hey, can I ask you something?" She asks.

  " Sure."

  " Do you think it would be weird to ask out a resident?"

  I nearly choke on my apple and sit up ti face her.

  " What? Are you serious?" I whisper making sure that nobody is listening.

  She shrugs and speaks," What? It's really simple. I heard one of the residents is having an affair with one of the nurses.

  " That doesn't mean you can, too. The residents are our teachers and I'm pretty sure they're smart enough to not be making out with their students. " I inform her.

  " Whatever. I'm giving it a try. Yolo." She holds out a peace sign on her fingers.

  " Hey, Lindy!" someone calls out.

  She turns her head around and began to walk.

  I take out a deep breath and glance outside of the window, watching the residents looking through the charts.

  It should be bad to be dating your teacher. I always thought it was weird that a student and a teacher was dating. It's complicated to explain. I know for sure that I'm not going to be that type of student.

  The thought brings up Dr. Howard in my mind. The way he told me I had to be by his side all the time makes my stomach flutter.