Where am I?
Does it really matter where you are?
Of course, it doesn't.
"He's woken up, go tell his family, please." The doctor shoos the nurse away from behind him.
"Hi, Katsuki Yuuri. My name is ..." The doctor continues speaking for the longest time. It shouldn't matter what he says, maybe this is a dream because I should be dead. I wanted to disappear— that was my choice, so if I'm alive ...
"They're here Hashima- san." The doctor quickly scoots back from the bed. "Yuuri ... oh my god it's really him." Multiple people begin sobbing, it's sad. I don't want people to cry over me.
But can you see them, are you ready?
No. I don't think I'll ever be.
"You all must be Yuuri's family. He's just woken up, but he's fairly unresponsive to dialogue. This is most likely just shock, but we'll make sure to check on him every day to determine whether that actually be the case. For now, please try casual conversation around him ... No topics to cause any sudden panic attacks or confusion or it may lengthen his recovery process. Essentially ... He has to have the will to recover by himself."
Footsteps click around me. I don't want to see them.
See who? Do you remember?
I don't want ...
... to see anyone anymore.
Very well. I'll make it as easy for you as possible.
My vision goes dark. I don't want to open my eyes ever again.
"The will to recover? Shouldn't he be awake right now then ... N- nevermind."
"Yuuri ... is that you?"
"H- hey pale guy ..."
"Y- yuuri?"
I can still hear them all. Make it stop, please.
However, I can not make them stop. You must listen to regain strength.
I ... don't want it.
Hmm?
I ...
You can forget about it. I just wanted to fade away, so why not let me?
You'll never crumble, even if I wanted you to. You're too important.
I'm not.
You are.
I'm ...
You are.
No ...
You are.
I want to die.
You won't.
I'm not important, I just want to die. I'm not alive, am I?
You are.
... I've practiced for years and years so I could catch up.
Not for my family, not really even for myself, to be honest. I just wanted to skate ... And, I'm not too sure why, but after all this time ... Having it all ripped away is far too painful. I can't undergo the weight of facing any of it. What have I been doing till now? Dreaming ... Waiting ... heh ...
WHAT A JOKE.
...
I used to just wanna go back home each time I was away from it, but now? Now I don't want to go anywhere. Skating feels like a distant memory that I know has passed on. I know I can't do it, of course, I can't.
...
Do you understand? You probably don't. Who am I talking to? It's too painful. If you're the one in charge here, then end my life faster. I don't want to live ... I just want ...
Viktor, right?
--
Gasp ...
I wake up with my hands covering my ears. I can only hear heavy breathing.
Is it mine?
Everything feels like a dream, did I pass out in that hospita—
"Yuuri?!" Ah ... That's my name, right? But, who is ...?
"Are you awake yet? I made breakfast! ..."
Who is it?
A faint smell of food stretches across the room. After everything, I've been through this far ... I missed the smell of food. Maybe it's
•••••••••••••••••-----------'s cooking!
I fall over on the bed, a large headache making makes me squeal in pain. That wasn't right. I tried to say something just then."W- who?!..." I push my face further into the sheets, waiting for an ongoing headache to subside.
"Yuuri!! If you're awake, come down here!" I guess now is a good time to find out this is actually a dream or not.
I haven't been allowed to roam around by myself in months. But I try my best to manage anyway. Lifting one foot after the other out of the cushioned bed— onto the carpeted floor. Nothing here looked all too familiar this definitely wasn't any of the apartments I used to stay in. It was far too old and worn down. Almost like ...
I yelp in pain once again today. I trip over my feet and nearly hit the floor; Instead of the unwelcoming pain, I was expecting, warm arms incase me before I can fully hit the ground. "I was going to come to get you ... Are you okay?" I wince in pain but push them away. Kindness became an unsettling feeling. It's disgusting ...
"I stabbed my foot or something ..." I struggle to say through watery eyes. "A splinter? Or maybe glass ... Why weren't you wearing the socks I gave you. You know the floor's terrible Yuuri ..."
"I ... Wah—" My eyes widen in surprise. Someone I've never seen before. White hair, blue eyes. They stare at me with worry as I utterly fail to react to what they've just said. "Who ... Are you?"
The person's lips move into a straight line. A look of confusion crossing their face. "... What? Are you feeling okay Yuuri? I don't recall you hitting your hea—"
"Don't touch me!" I move away from him as quickly as I can, scraping my knees on the wooden planks beneath me. I feel his hurt gaze fixated upon me. "Have you really forgotten me ?..."
Words: 1047
[AN]
You matter. You're so important, and yet you study what isn't. One in a billion? Of course, out of a billion people, they won't all like you. Men are incredibly sensitive after all. This is just my advice to you, but why do you care if not everyone cherishes thee? Racism is essentially as fundamental as passing.
.... Is what I would've said; at the beginning of the year.
... But you've managed to teach me something.
... What is it? Sincere love, benevolence, endurance, strength? No no no no no, not any of those. What if ...
This isn't actually your story?
...
...
Crazy, right?
YOU ARE READING
You Matter⇾Viktor X Yuuri // Yoi Fanfiction
Fanfiction|Things never got this bad, and when it felt like it might ... They both got through it together. | "Don't call yourself that ... Yuuri, you've never been just that." I think something's wrong. "How could you possibly question my devotion when I've...
