|Things never got this bad, and when it felt like it might ... They both got through it together. |
"Don't call yourself that ... Yuuri, you've never been just that."
I think something's wrong.
"How could you possibly question my devotion when I've...
It was cold, freezing. This must've been the coldest his hands ever felt. He presses them together and blew hot air, hoping to transfer some warmth. The action proved to be useless as a breeze sweeps through his darkish blue locks again. Jin simply sighs, shoving his frozen hands deep into his pockets. Jin was freezing... but not just because it was cold outside. Not just because of the air that bit at his sensitive skin every "two seconds." He was telling himself lies, over and over again— and yet, he didn't understand why. Why was he scared of the truth? He knew things like this happened, HE did it to Yuuri for fuck sake! But... being on the opposite end was nothing more than frightening. Nothing even happened. I killed them...so why?... Jin's frown deepens. He never felt this way... Never.
The door clicks as he steps into the old run-down apartment room. Black lifeless eyes scan around the area. It was cold in here as well, but warmer than being out there. This feeling made his heart sink into the pit of his stomach, he couldn't tell where the pain was exactly. He couldn't tell what was happening to him. His hand reaches absentmindedly into his pockets again, digging out all the loot he received from the guys he dealt with. Something was wrong with him. Something was truly wrong with him. A shaky hand is brought to his mouth. This is sadness, Jin then confirms. He recognized the feeling, he saw his past lover do something like this before. She always did, over and over and over aga— Warm tears trailed down his face. Really...he hadn't cried in who knew how long. Something was unmistakably wrong with him!
Though...
Were these feelings what he sprung onto everyone? Did Yuuri feel like this when—...Or was it different?
No thinking about that now. Right now he had to... what did he have to do? He swore to himself he'd get Yuuri back, right? Jin's legs buckle underneath him, the floor seeming more welcoming. It helped soothe the sinking feeling in his chest. He balled in on himself, one hand clutching his stomach and the other near his chest. Still being unable to pinpoint the location of pain.
For a while, he stayed like that. His body felt so numb. As if he wanted to sleep, but if he were to go to bed, he'd likely just lay there. Disgusting thoughts spread over like a virus in his mind, his heart beating against his chest painfully. What a terrible feeling.
A trembling hand dug through the stuff he pulled out, his eyes widen. It was nothing less than disbelief. It was unbelievable. But with this, with this? He had a lead. His hands shook, the paper crumbling between his palms. He may sound a little crazy—
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But he was...
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Ah, that's right.
He regrets his actions.
No, not because he felt all that bad.
Lair.
No, not because he was crazy.
Liar.
It definitely wasn't any those— it could not be any of those!
Lair.
Jin was confused?...
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But one thing was still clear. There was one thing he must do before he begins completely realizing his mistakes.
