Vibrations

Chapter 17

We spent the rest of the trip discussing the logistics of how we were going to make the transition work. We decided that tomorrow, when we got home, we'd sit Roo down and explain to her that I was her dad. We talked at length about the fact that that was going to be a very difficult conversation. We discussed and rehearsed what questions would be asked. How she would react. What to do if she lost her little mind...

It was an absolutely shitty conversation...

By the time we got to my place, we had most of the specifics worked out, and both of us were exhausted by a very emotional and tiring day...

I led her upstairs to my apartment, being as considerate to my neighbors as humanly possible, considering that it was getting late...

I let us both in and let her wander around the apartment. She stopped by the destroyed ceramic bear and gave me a questioning look...

I smiled at her, a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless...

"My last girlfriend broke up with me... she broke him first..."

It hit me then that even in the worst storm, there was always a silver lining. I imagined for a second how that would have worked, how that would have gone down... fuck. How bad would things have been had that relationship been going while I was trying to work through all of this?

Another flash of shame smashed through me as I thought of Alyssa. I thought of the six months of her life that I had wasted in a relationship when I was obviously completely in love with Casey...

I forced the thought out of my mind... there was nothing that I could do about that now...

"What?" She asked me.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts... "Nothing. Sorry."

She nodded timidly and bent down to start picking up the pieces on the floor.

"Leave them, please." I commanded.

She looked up at me, obviously trying to figure out what she had done wrong.

I smiled at her, "We still need to talk about one more thing. Can you wait here for a second?"

She stood and wrapped her arms around herself again. She didn't answer, she just nodded her head quickly, like it was painful.

I went to my bedroom and pulled out the bottom drawer of my dresser. I reached my arm in, feeling on the top of the drawer for what I was looking for. I found it taped up in the back, attached to the top of the dresser, in the place I had secreted it to keep it safe, and from prying eyes...

I went back to the front room and looked at her.

As the doctors say... this might hurt a little bit...

"I'm sorry..." I began.

Her eyes locked on mine.

I moved closer to her, getting so close I could smell her. Her clean, soapy, feminine scent. Even after a day like today, she still smelled clean...

I could feel the pull of her body and it was so much like Re and my mom had described it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how right they had been. We were like two suns circling. Two magnets moving...

I lifted her chin and kissed her gently. Her lips parted for me and she returned the kiss, her lips moving softly against mine. It wasn't an eager kiss...

It still took my breath away.

I let her go and looked into her eyes.

She shook her head at me, "Why are you sorry? I don't understand."